I so admire you for relocating to get better services for your son.
We have a daughter with many disabilities and I know how hard it is. We have not had to relocate, but our lives are affected in so many ways. I have had many days like you are having now and I know I will have more. Never be ashamed of how you feel, its part of the process and I think we learn from it. I'm a big believer of "feeling your feelings" and then moving on. You guys are doing your best, but its still hard in the process. I'm sorry OH didn't have any help for you. It is different state to state. Anyway I will be thinking of you and if you want to "talk" more please pm me.