No need to be askeered of us, sure we may be a little twisted (spinners) or warped (weavers) but besides that, we're just human.
It sounds like you might have the 'newbie death grip' on your fiber. Hold it gently, merely supporting it. If your fiber is drafting hard, hold your hands farther apart while drafting. If your roving is compacted, your may have to un-compact it by gently pulling it sideways before you draft it length wise.
You might also want to try pre-drafting it, before you try spinning it.
What type of fiber are you working with? Where did you get it? Some fibers are more suited to felting than spinning.
It also sounds like you are over twisting the yarn. Common thing for the new spinner. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about the thick and thin, underspun & overspun spots either. (It's called Art Yarn!)
Some folks recommend weighting the yarn while drying. I'm not one of those. Since wool has memory, you may knit / crochet / weave an item, then once you wet it to block it, the yarn will go back to it's unweighted twist.
Start off with these hints and try again (and again and again) and see if it is easier.