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Old 04-27-2010, 11:35 AM   #14
Turning the Heel
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Originally Posted by Crycket View Post
I have been trying to boil this down to the bottom line. I am trying to clear the bull and supposed "excuses" (as some without anxiety see it) To be completely honest with myself...

I think this is it....

I DO very much support her, and DO very much want to be there for her special moment/day.

I DO NOT want to take a vacation on a cruise. I DO NOT want pass go and spend $3000 on a wedding/unwanted vacation.

I think that is cut and dry. Without any additional feelings in the way.

The next question is, does a friend do something they don't want to do, just for the sake of a friends happiness. Do I sacrifice/put off some of the things I need/want to do to make her happy?

What makes me a real friend? Just because she is being unreasonable, does that give me the right to be unreasonable back? Is she really being unreasonable?

See...this is the sort of thing that goes flying through my mind.
She is absolutely being unreasonable. Imagine if you asked every single guest to your wedding with your husband to spend $3000 on your wedding.

I am sure that you want to be supportive, but what she's requesting is outrageous. Now. Had she spent the money and was paying for everyones' rooms and airfare and this was just a matter of taking vacation time for a wedding I might be able to see that. And its not even like this is a destination wedding that you can get away from. Its not like going to Jamaica for a beach wedding that you can go down for a couple days and come home. This is a week long cruise with no means to get back home if you need to. You're trapped on this wedding for a long as the cruise lasts, plus the flight home.

I think you should stop feeling guilty over not wanting to go. I think the bride is being outlandishly unreasonable.
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