I knit continental. Since I am 4 years old. That makes a lot of muscle memory! My mother in law is American and knits English style. First time I ever cam across it... I was puzzled. I tried to copy it, and miserably failed.
From all the (good and bad) knitters I have seen with both styles: Mostly the continental was much quicker. But there are some FAST English knitters our there.
So I encourage the transition. But I also see your pain. I would not do the switch for me. Even though someone tried to tell me the saying they learned in school with bunny ears and holes and all of that. Well, but I just want to knit! :D
The tension problem is not sooo uncommon I think. With continental knitting in general. It all depends on experience of course. But it also depends on how you run your yarn trough your hand. Can you describe what way the yarn takes from the coil to your needle? Maybe I can help to fix that part of the problem - at least somewhat.
Just to describe my way for "regular" yarn (not especially sticky or slippery): from the coil in between my pinky and my ring finger, out above my ring finger, around my index finger and down to the needle.
If the yarn is very slippery I hold it once around my pinky or one extra turn around my index finger (don't cut of the blood flow).
If the yarn won't slip at all, it just goes into my hand and through the "fist" up to the index finger.
This is all not mandatory but you have to find your own way to do it.
With the tension of the yarn held propperly equal you use your right needle to pull the stitch to the desired size / tightness.