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Old 05-18-2011, 03:27 PM   #38
Working the Gusset
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As a senior at college, Steve would often engage women psychology
majors in heated discussions about male-female relationships. Once,
Shelly and Steve got into a hot debate about whether men or women make
the larger sacrifice of their respective gender characteristics when
they get married.

To Steve’s surprise, Shelly agreed with him that men give up far more
than women.

"You're right, Steve," she said. "Men generally give up doing their
cleaning, their cooking, their grocery shopping, their laundry..."

* * * * * *


Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask
which one should have the prize.

"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to
mother? Who does everything she says?"

Five small voices answered, in unison, "Okay, dad, you get the toy."

* * * * *

Pregnancy Questions & Answers:

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
--The member formerly known as Demonica

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
- Mahatma Gandhi
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