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Old 12-08-2011, 02:47 PM   #11
jess_hawk
Working the Gusset
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
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I wouldn't say that the situation is reversed: certainly I find myself and my female friends facing a lot of this behavior from men - both older generations and my own age... and even younger guys!, merely that women are ALSO gaslighting men.

On the whole I think the point here is twofold:
We need to - all of us! - be more sensitive to the ways in which we use words to manipulate others and not use that manipulation in a harmful way.

We also need to - all of us! - be less sensitive about people being people. Just because someone finds a joke funny when it brings up a stereotype, doesn't mean that the person is sexist, racist, etc... they only have to be aware of the stereotypes. In fact, those sorts of jokes are often funniest when you are aware that the stereotype is there, but rarely holds true! And stereotypes happen. Our brains are programmed to generalize.
The same is true of emotional expression. Men and women feel and express emotions in different ways. Individuals feel and express emotions in different ways. Instead of trying to force everyone to be PC (which in my opinion often leads to a situation where the formerly disadvantaged come to feel entitled and get belligerent when they are treated as equals instead of being given preferential treatment) can we all please just try to lighten up? Keep an open mind instead of getting self-righteous when people don't act and speak and look exactly the same way we do?
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recent FOs: Shedir cap, Bricks of Atlantis, Pirates Hat, Citrine Socklets, Teddy bears, 1 entrelac sock
OTN: scraps blanket, Shedir for Teenie, Ice Serpent Hat
NIL: Qiviuk tam re-visited; weatherproof gloves; sweaters
My knitting blog: http://emilai333.wordpress.com/
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