I have recently been working on keeping my tension even and have found this to work: using the method that Amy teaches to hold the yarn (wrapping around the pinky and over index finger), I stick my needle into the stitch, put the yarn over and pull the loop through -- at this point I push the needle forward a good inch before I pull the completed stitch off the needle. Pushing the needle through, making sure that I am not too close to the point tip, is what makes my stitch not too tight. Also, when I pull the completed stitch off the needle, I make a point not to simply pull it off without using my right finger tip to push on the tip of the needle to help it off. I had been mostly pulling the completed stitch off the needle (in an effort to not be too tight), and it caused my stitches to be larger than they should have been, and uneven because of the pulling.
I am now knitting a little more on the tight side, but my stitches seem more even. If you watch Amy's knit stitch video (continental style) she shows this very clearly.
As I re-read this, I'm not sure I am making much sense!