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I know it sucks... it really does! When I was big into sewing, I found that European sizes were much more consistent than North American ones. Since I have such a small list of people that I will actually knit {or crochet} involved things for, I often have their measurements right here {esp. since most of them live with me!}.
The yarn standards site, and a few others are great for a reference, but none of it is hard and fast rules. The only generalization I usually make is that one inch at the waist is a size, and that two inches at the bust is a size. Even that isn't that great of a gauge, esp since I'm proportional the other way around!!!
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