Well, crud, knittingguy. I'm sorry you feel that way. Depression runs in my family. Its tough.
First of all, *you* have value. Yup, you. So hang in there.
Secondly, you might want to think about giving meds another try. It is very difficult to find the right med/right dose/right combination. But if you do, it is so, so, so worth it.
I don't take them myself. But my mother does. And a very dear friend of mine is schizophrenic. And honestly, they have tough days, but I still have them around because of the medication they're on. And honestly, most of the time - they have good days.
They were both resistant to medication, because of the side affects, and/or they felt "weak" for having to take them. But I can't even tell you how much I would miss them if they were gone.
PS. I think it says something about you that you answered about lamps for me when you were feeling down.
WIP: Lacey Knee Highs
Recently Finished: Ruffles Baby Blanket
Waiting to Start: Summertime tunic