The title will make more sense after you read this (and it's all true!).
As if I didn't have enough stress as it is...
Here's the source of it:
Well, my sweet (yeah, right) little Molly, recently adopted and named with y'all's help, has discovered the hole that our other sweet (sure, whatever) dog Pele dug a few months ago.
So, for the last two days, both dogs have just been having a grand ole time playing in the neighbor's yard behind me. BUT, they've always come back under the fence when I call.
Not this morning.
I put the shock collar on Pele after having ordered (last night) new batteries for the other collar, which will be used on Molly. I thought that if Pele was discouraged from going under, Molly would as well.
Guess what, the battery in Pele's collar is dead too -- a fact I would soon discover (much like the pee in front of my door this morning).
So I look outside and see only my oldest dog (good girl!) on the porch.
I call for the other two dogs. Pele comes out from under the fence, but there's no Molly, although I can hear her. It's 5:30am, and I'm calling her name, trying not to screech and wake the neighbors.
I go inside and grab some dog treats and hunker down (like I'm doing my business) by the hole, holding the treats under the fence, thinking Molly might see them and come running. No go. I don't even hear her at this point.
I briefly examine the hole to see if I can fit under but decide not to try it.
So then I start worrying that maybe she got out of their yard and is wandering around the neighborhood. I jump, barefoot and with night clothes on, into the Jeep and drive around the corner and park in front of my neighbor's house. No lights on at home.
So, I look for the fence gate. Of course, I choose the wrong side of the house first. Going to the other side of the house, and looking like the PJ Bandit, I finding the gate, trying to be quiet, but of course I'm not. Egad...did I wake the sleeping bodies inside. Apparently not. But I do get in. Beautiful back yard. I've always wondered what it looked like. Too bad I'm seeing it in my pj's at 5:30 in the morning!
No dog. I see the porch door ajar. I creep up to the door and peek inside. No Molly.
I turn around, and there comes my Molly, hopping around through their flower bed...happy as can be.
I scoop her up, sneak back out of the yard, and quietly close the latch. We drive back home as quickly as possible.
The bad thing is that I can't punish her at this point because she would have no clue what she did wrong.
"Uh, hello, Pet Supply Store, can you please RUSH those danged batteries."