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Old 09-29-2007, 11:02 PM   #1
Knitting_Guy
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Depressed For No Reason
I was hesitant to even post this here but I feel like the folks here are more kin to me, loving, and understanding than anywhere else.

I inherited the genetic disposition for depression from my father, who died from the illness when I was 10. I've been on medication for it a couple of times although I've never found it to help all that much.

It comes and it goes. Tonight it comes. I'm a big guy, a tough guy, but tonight I feel like crying for no reason at all. What a wimp!

The only reason I am writing this is to try and get it outside of myself, if that makes any sense, and to make some human contact as remote as it is over the net, to try and maintain some grasp on that which makes life worth living.

Just ignore this post and go on about your business, it's just an attempt to put my feelings outside of myself as they shouldn't belong to me in the first place. Sorry to take up bandwidth.
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Old 09-29-2007, 11:05 PM   #2
stirsmommy
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Mason,
It isn't wimpy to cry. And I think it is very admirable that you recognize the feelings and reached out to us. Wish I could say something profound but I can't think of a thing. (Taking to much benadryl to stop the itch of poison oak) Tomorrow will be another day. Could you watch a funny movie or something that will take your mind off of things?
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Old 09-29-2007, 11:08 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by stirsmommy View Post
Mason,
It isn't wimpy to cry. And I think it is very admirable that you recognize the feelings and reached out to us. Wish I could say something profound but I can't think of a thing. (Taking to much benadryl to stop the itch of poison oak) Tomorrow will be another day. Could you watch a funny movie or something that will take your mind off of things?

Thanks. I cant' say my mind is on anything to take it off from. Just a general feeling of sadness I can't shake. Pretty wimpy as far as I am concerned.
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Old 09-29-2007, 11:13 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Knitting_Guy View Post
Thanks. I cant' say my mind is on anything to take it off from. Just a general feeling of sadness I can't shake. Pretty wimpy as far as I am concerned.
I know the feeling. I hate it but have never had the guts to try the meds. My temp fixes are chocolate and doing something mindless yet engrossing which for me a crosswords. Sometimes I will play puzzle games online too. For some reason I can get involved in them enough to relax and sleep. Which at least recharges me to face whatever I feel like the next day.
As to not feeling wimpy about I think that perhaps a change in paradigm is in order. You do have a reason for it. You may not know what triggered it tonight but you is in your dna your were programmed to be this way. So that is definitely not wimpy.
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Old 09-29-2007, 11:09 PM   #5
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Mason, I know how you feel.
I battled chronic depression for 14 years and even though i'm out of the chronic phase, I fall back into it often.
Medically speaking, I have a reason for it, but it still makes me mad when it happens.
Have a good cry, try to relax and remember that we're always here to lend a hand.
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Old 09-29-2007, 11:09 PM   #6
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Well, crud, knittingguy. I'm sorry you feel that way. Depression runs in my family. Its tough.

First of all, *you* have value. Yup, you. So hang in there.

Secondly, you might want to think about giving meds another try. It is very difficult to find the right med/right dose/right combination. But if you do, it is so, so, so worth it.

I don't take them myself. But my mother does. And a very dear friend of mine is schizophrenic. And honestly, they have tough days, but I still have them around because of the medication they're on. And honestly, most of the time - they have good days.

They were both resistant to medication, because of the side affects, and/or they felt "weak" for having to take them. But I can't even tell you how much I would miss them if they were gone.
((hugs))
Bliss

PS. I think it says something about you that you answered about lamps for me when you were feeling down.
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Old 09-29-2007, 11:14 PM   #7
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Thanks folks, I already am sorry I posted this here. It's not knitting related nor is it your problem. Please pardon this whole post.
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Old 09-29-2007, 11:19 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Knitting_Guy View Post
Thanks folks, I already am sorry I posted this here. It's not knitting related nor is it your problem. Please pardon this whole post.
You're one of our guys. Period
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Old 09-29-2007, 11:20 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by HanAku View Post
You're one of our guys. Period

Thanks
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What do you mean guys don't knit?

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My boring blog http://masonm.joeuser.com

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Old 09-29-2007, 11:17 PM   #10
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*offers a hug and a shoulder to cry on* Having a good cry can be theraputic. Just curl up and let it all out. Shout, scream, beat pillows, sob. And then know that we're here for you when you're ready to talk... even if it's just to show you yarn p0rn until you smile.

It'll be okay Mason. We all have times like this. At least you've accepted it for what it is. Most people can't even get that far.

*hug*
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