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Old 03-26-2008, 12:09 PM   #1
bailsmom
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Oh My Freakin' God!!
I have to have surgery AGAIN!!! That'll be 3 surgeries in less than 3 years.

Let me recap: Remember last week, my problem with getting my medical records sent over to my new doctor? Well I had my appt. yesterday - he was WONDERFUL btw - and it turns out that damn cyst that was in there back in January has not shrunk at all. So in order to avoid it rupturing and causing excruciating pain he and I think they should go in and get rid of it before we start any IVF procedures.

Yep, I have to do IVF. I cannot believe it. I mean I can, but I don't want to yet. I was so hoping he would say we had a good shot with another IUI but alas that is not the case. I have a 12% chance of conceiving with IUI or a 50% with IVF. Obviously IVF is the better of the 2 but I would like at least a 70-75% chance with IVF.

He thinks my left ovary is shot seeing as that's where the cyst is attached to...I hate my body. I asked if he would be doing the surgery and he said that he does do this kind, but if they are going to go in there, then he want's it done by THE BEST doctor. So he's sending me to a different doctor for the surgery, who is apparently quite well known in the Reproductive world. I've seen him on the news quite a few times. He seems nice and they said that he was and that's a huge plus for me.

I'm sorry if I've bored you all with my diseases and the such, but it's like I told my mom last night, I'm so sick and tired of infertility being a taboo subject. It's not our fault that our bodies are broken and we shouldn't be ashamed of that. How is having infertility any different than having cancer or any other disease? Most people don't cause their own cancer and I didn't cause my disease, it just happened to me. I hate it. But this is the hand I've been dealt.

Oh, man, I hope I don't have to do that horrible bowel prep thing again. Okay, I'll leave it at that for now.

Oh!! FYI. Some of my records never made it over to my new doctor. What a surprise. So I called them this morning and in a no nonsense tone told them to fax it asap. As if that will do any good. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Old 03-26-2008, 12:41 PM   #2
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So sorry that you have to go through all of this!!!! It sounds like you are finally in good hands.

I hope all goes well for you.
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Old 03-26-2008, 12:46 PM   #3
Jan in CA
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Awww I'm sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine how hard it must be. I'm sending good vibes and thoughts your way!
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Old 03-26-2008, 01:08 PM   #4
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I am sending and your way!

I have been dealing with infertility, too. And I agree with not wanting it to be a "taboo" subject. I wish you the very best of luck through everything!!
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Old 03-26-2008, 01:10 PM   #5
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I'm so sorry. but in a positive note by next year you will have a baby. giving you good baby vibes.
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Old 03-26-2008, 01:11 PM   #6
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I'm so sorry. I think I took for granted how easily I was able to conceive my children. Until reading all of the threads on this topic, I had no idea just how fortunate I was...

I will keep you in my prayers, dear. One step at a time...one day at a time..

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Old 03-26-2008, 01:17 PM   #7
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WOW, that really sucks ! Hopefully you are in with a great doctor now who well help you get on the right track to being pregnant - or as one of our docs so nicely put it - start incubating (yup, he's a gem).
I'm kind of out of the loop when it comes to infertility and pregnancy in general, but if it helps talking about it doesn't bother me in the least and am suprised to hear it is a taboo subject. I guess working in a hosp we talk about EVERYTHING. I agree that it's just a condition like anything else. I have friends that for one reason or another cannot conceive and are adopting and for the ones that have pursued IVF and the ones that didn't I find they pick and choose who they will talk to about it b/c sometimes they feel like people are judging their decision to adopt. Understandably they don't feel like they should have to defend or justify adopting rather than having "their own" child by putting their medical history on display.

Best of Luck with the new surgery and hope all goes well and that you DON't have to do bowel prep cause I have done that and oye.
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Old 03-26-2008, 03:36 PM   #8
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Thank you all for your warm thoughts and letting me get it off my chest. I apologize if I came across as a bit of a psycho earlier, it's just that bits and pieces of it all is processing slower than I thought it would and I tend to blurt things out and think about it later on. I try hard not to do that on this board, but sometimes I fail.

As for Infertility being 'taboo' and women not wanting to talk about it, it's because the women that can get pregnant just by looking at their husbands don't, excuse me, CAN'T even begin to understand how horrible this journey is for us fertility-challenged individuals. I just came up with that one!

Women just take it for granted when they don't even try to conceive and when they hear about other women who struggle with it they usually just poo-poo us and say the most unkind, hurtful and unsympathetic things to our faces and it leaves us standing there completely dumbfounded.

We don't dislike the women who can get pregnant easily but we do dislike the remarks. Which we know aren't meant to be taken as being insensitive, but when you are the one who has to go down this road there's no way on earth that we can even begin to explain how we feel. It is such a sensitive issue and it needs to be handled with extreme care and compassion. And as I sit here and type this it dawns on me that that is probably the reason it is such a taboo subject, because as much as we do want to talk about it, it hurts just that much more too talk about it. I guess we have to be in the right frame of mind to be more open with the discussions. And since our emotions go haywire during this process, that makes it even more difficult. Wow, I guess we're damned if we do and damned if we don't!!

Boy, have I hijacked my own thread here or what!! Bottom line: Please don't ask a woman when she's going to have a baby. Let her tell you when it happens on her time, you'll save a lot of women struggling to conceive a heck of a lot of pain. Thank you for letting me get that out. I feel a whole lot better.
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Old 03-26-2008, 04:46 PM   #9
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Sounds like you found a good doc... As you said, I can't imagine not being able to get pregnant because I've been blessed by one child. I got a tiny minute taste of it when it took so long to conceive. It was agonizing every month that it didn't happen. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 03-26-2008, 06:38 PM   #10
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You hit the nail on the head Bailsmom!!!! No one could have said it better!
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