I am so sorry to hear about all the troubles and the pain it has caused.
I too had never realized it was a taboo subject but then again, I don't really have all that many people I talk to, offline. I'm also a bit surprised that so many people are that insensitive when talking to women who are infertile! I dunno...I always try to put myself in other people's shoes though.
I hope things work out for the best for you and your husband.