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Old 03-26-2008, 07:07 PM   #11
saracidaltendencies
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I am so sorry to hear about all the troubles and the pain it has caused.

I too had never realized it was a taboo subject but then again, I don't really have all that many people I talk to, offline. I'm also a bit surprised that so many people are that insensitive when talking to women who are infertile! I dunno...I always try to put myself in other people's shoes though.

I hope things work out for the best for you and your husband.
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Old 03-26-2008, 09:18 PM   #12
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I guess it's really all about educating people on the matter. I've had to tell my mother that she can't talk to me about how wonderful her grandchildren are, because for me to hear about that is absolute torture. And I know she doesn't even realize she's killing me on the inside, so I have to find a tactful way to say, "Mom, I don't want to hear about all the wonderful and fun things that the kids are saying or doing". And to be perfectly honest, I hate having to say anything at all. I wish I could hear about how my SIL is 1 month from giving birth and all she's going through but I just can't. 5 years ago, yes it was fine, now, Oh Dear God No!! And when I told my mom how I felt, she in turn felt so badly and I hated that I made her feel that way, but if I didn't say something I would hang up everytime and be crying my eyes out.

But we must educate people as best we can and hope they'll understand. Again, I thank you all for letting me get this off my chest today.

And yes, I sure am excited and scared about my upcoming surgery. I'm so glad my new doctor is big enough to know that another doctor will be able to do a better job and is sending me there. That to me is a huge sign of a doctor who's more interested in the welfare of his patients and not more concerned about padding his pocketbook. I just wish my last doctor would have done the same thing, because it turns out this doctor who I'm seeing next week, used to work in the same office as my first RE! Small world, hey?!

I've decided that when I go in next week and they do another ultrasound I'm going to ask them to give me a picture of the cyst so I can show it to my mom!! She'll be so grossed out. My Dad will think it's cool, but he's a boy so I kind of expect that from him.
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Old 03-27-2008, 04:18 AM   #13
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Sending you big !
We haven't tried to conceive yet and already i find remarks about me having a baby very offensive, especially when they are coming from my boss
I just wanted to add that maybe you shouldn't hate your body so much. It's yours, for better for worse. The more you'll love yourself, the more your body will respond to that. Maybe i sound too new-age now, but i just learned it on myself. I understand how difficult it is for you to hear about other people's babies and pregnancies, but maybe you can try and change your view about it, wake up in the morning and say "I love myself, I feel great and i'm going to have a baby, this way or another" and smile a lot. Don't think so hard about the difficulties of the process, try to picture yourself at the end of that.
When i see all the threads about infertility I understand how having a baby is a gift and not something to be taken for granted and I'm sure that really soon you'll make a wonderful mother. So i'm sending you lots of baby thoughts and !
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Old 03-27-2008, 05:53 AM   #14
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I'm so glad to hear you're seeing a great doctor now, and I'm sending good vibes in the hopes that everything goes well for you this time around. I'm sorry IUI isn't working out, but if IVF is what it takes, the outcome is what matters. So best of luck, and I hope to hear good news soon!
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Old 03-27-2008, 08:00 AM   #15
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Old 03-27-2008, 10:43 AM   #16
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Sorry you have to have surgery again. Good wishes for a speedy recovery.
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Old 03-27-2008, 11:16 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by KnittingNat View Post
Sending you big !
We haven't tried to conceive yet and already i find remarks about me having a baby very offensive, especially when they are coming from my boss
I just wanted to add that maybe you shouldn't hate your body so much. It's yours, for better for worse. The more you'll love yourself, the more your body will respond to that. Maybe i sound too new-age now, but i just learned it on myself. I understand how difficult it is for you to hear about other people's babies and pregnancies, but maybe you can try and change your view about it, wake up in the morning and say "I love myself, I feel great and i'm going to have a baby, this way or another" and smile a lot. Don't think so hard about the difficulties of the process, try to picture yourself at the end of that.
When i see all the threads about infertility I understand how having a baby is a gift and not something to be taken for granted and I'm sure that really soon you'll make a wonderful mother. So i'm sending you lots of baby thoughts and !

Thank you for the kind words knittingnat. I do appreciate the thoughts. But to explain what I mean when I say I hate my body in detail would be long and extremely boring for you to read. Let me just say that I have been stricken with illnesses since I was a child. I'm talking so sick a complete stranger had to carry me into the doctor's office because I couldn't walk and my Dad could not get off of work to come with us.

So I have good reason to say that I hate my body, but I did say it was the hand I've been dealt so I will continue to deal with it. After 20+ years of sicknesses you tend to become quite negative on certain things and become defeated. But as my signature says "Giving up is what makes it permanent". I haven't given up yet. I think that's a pretty good record.

And saying out loud to myself that I am going to have a baby isn't going to make it happen. If it's meant to be then it will happen, no matter what I say or do.


Thanks again for the well wishes.
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