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Old 07-17-2008, 09:52 AM   #1
Turning the Heel
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Feeling so down right now
My husband took a job in Pittsburgh so that we could benefit from all of the autism services available here (not available in OH). Our son has Asperger's Syndrome and we were paying over $1000/month out of pocket for his services in Ohio. Unless you are indigent, you aren't eligible for any financially-related medical services in Ohio. Plus, insurance companies do not cover anything Autism-related and Ohio does not force them to.

He took the job and we moved into temp housing in northern PA. We left our 2400 sq ft house on 5+ acres with a gorgeous view of tree farms and a lush valley to live in a cramped, 2 bdrm apartment in the city. We can't find housing here like what we had in Ohio for what we could afford. We are giving up everything we enjoyed.

I am okay with with this. Our son is so much more important that our things.. but today for some reason I just felt so awful. I feel so 'un' hopeful. I can't break down and cry in front of the kiddos. they are having a hard time with this too and I need to be the strong, positive one. I don't know whay I am pitying myself so much today. I think it's all of the stress. The housing market in Ohio is horrendous and we face having our house for sale for perhaps a year or even more before selling it. We can't even THINK about buying another house until we sell ours. And when we do buy another house, it will definitely be much older and smaller and on almost no land.

I feel so ashamed for feeling this way. These are just things afterall. I know God has a plan for our family. I know it took real courage to move away from all of our friends and family so that our son could have a better life and a real chance at success. I know that success in the long term is more stable than success in the short term. I know all of these things.. but my heart just aches right now.
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