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Old 03-20-2009, 12:14 PM   #11
Knit4Pie
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If she calls to ask you to babysit, just tell her that you don't have the energy and that if you did, you would have to charge her since it's so often.

You can say you're busy, even if you don't leave the house. You're washing the floors, writing a novel, knitting on something that has to be finished quick, organizing things for the new baby. Even if you're just sitting watching soaps and eating bonbons, she doesn't have to know that.
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:47 PM   #12
cftwo
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I would keep it simple and just say "I'm sorry, I can't watch X [today/now/anymore]." She doesn't need a reason. If she demands a reason, just say "It's personal" or "None of your business" and leave it at that.
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:51 PM   #13
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I think I would just tell her that "I'm sorry, but I can't babysit for you anymore. You'll need to make other arrangements." Like someone said previously you could offer her some day care options.
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Old 03-20-2009, 11:36 PM   #14
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You are so entitled to say NO to this woman and watching her son so that she can have an affair. I am for the most part a wuss when it comes to saying no and have gone out of my way many a time to help people that I don't really even like just to avoid "being mean." Having said that - is the area you're in highly populated with military families? Is there a military relief society that you could offer her the contact info for? My thinking being that if there is a branch specific relief society they could get her involved with other spouses which would also give her another outlet for childcare...
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Old 03-21-2009, 04:10 AM   #15
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You all are making be feel like a bitch... I for one would inform her that I am not willing to babyset for a slut....

That being sed if she was not merried or had her DHs permishen to seek male comfert while he was away... Then I would have no problem with it so long as she takes good care of her kid... Which it sounds like she is not doing.
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Old 03-21-2009, 05:34 PM   #16
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Well, I'm not sure I can talk... I'm a fine one for never being able to say no - until recently...
I thank my hubby for this... not that I didn't know better but it just never occurred to me.
First of all - you have no reason to feel guilty that you have a life.
Secondly - we've all been brought up to look after others and it sucks... because the 'others' don't give us any respect (we caved, didn't we?).... and secondly we begin to be used because of our 'no' failing.
Forget the guilt trip... that's what she's giving you. You have every right to not get involved with what seems, quite rightly, sordid. After all her hubby has already told her he doesn't like it... right?
Here's what I'd do - I would not answer her phone calls and the next time she phones and leaves such a stupid message, erase it.
She doesn't sound like the kind of friend you need right now and she wants to turn you into a 'co-dependent' or at least, a full time babysitter... For sure, the price is right.
Say NO and mean it. It is your right and you are right to do it.
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Old 03-23-2009, 12:25 AM   #17
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Just tell her, "I would be happy to watch your son, but I don't babysit for free anymore, I charge $125.00 an hour." That should get through to even the densest dimwit.
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Old 03-23-2009, 01:15 AM   #18
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I appreciate everyones advice! Thank you! Today she decided to text message me instead of call so it was a lot easier to tell her no. She said "hey how are you me and my "best friend" took my son to the zoo yesterday" I said "thats nice I have noticed your "best friend" has been spending the night with you" she then has the nerve to tell me "yea we have been playing video games and he's trying to date this girl but she keeps blowing him off.. I have a favor to ask you" I said "before we start talking favors I just want to say that I do not agree with what your doing and I will not be babysitting for you anymore" she never replied back so hopefully she got the point! I know im a baby but it was a lot easier to say in text message than if she would have called. Thanks Everyone
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Old 03-23-2009, 05:59 AM   #19
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Hey, whatever works!
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Old 03-23-2009, 10:55 AM   #20
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Great job! That's awesome! I'm just like you- afraid to say no and stand up for myself. Hopefully this is the last you hear of it!
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