This is an extremely difficult issue to discuss without emotions becoming involved...and I'm sure the mods are cringing as I type, but....
When is it best for a difficult family to become an ex-family?
At what point do you draw the line and say, "for my own sanity, I just can't communicate with you any longer?"
Obviously, I could go into a long litany of my family's hurts and harms against me here, but I'm trying to bite my tongue and just state this in the theoretical sense.
I am an adult (49 years old) a mother and grandmother in my own right. I currently live 1500 miles away - by choice. I raised my children as far away as possible and with as little contact with my family of origin as I could.
But it just seems that they are unable to restrain themselves from saying things that are PAINFUL to me, make me feel "not good enough," judging, condemning, etc.
I figure, if I'm exasperated enough by it to even ask the question, it's probably time....
If you have "writen off" a family and would like to tell me how that worked out for you, please contribute to this conversation.
If you were raised in a physically, emotionally, etc abusive home, and maintain contact with your family of origin as an adult, and would like to tell me how that is working for you, please contribute to this conversation.
If you have done everything in your power to heal yourself as best as you can, with the understanding that parts of you will always remain unhealed - and you have accepted these broken parts as much as the healed,
if you have attempted to support your siblings/parents toward finding their own healing, with greater or lesser success
please talk to me. I could use a little clarity before I make a huge decision. Thank you.