Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-26-2009, 10:39 AM   #1
Working the Gusset
vaknitter's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: virginia
Posts: 1,732
Thanks: 450
Thanked 461 Times in 420 Posts
When to give care shawl ?
So it started out that I was making a dear set of "grandparent" type friends knitted items for Christmas gifts. For her I made a shoulder shawl and for him I was making a lapghan. He took suddenly ill and I drove home last weekend (9hrs) to sit with them and he died. I do not have it in me to finish his lapghan. I am trying to decide if I should mail the shawl to her now as a care shawl and thought you could use a big hug? Give it to her while home for the funeral in a month? Or leave it at home for Christmas as planned ? I sort of want her to have it now, and I am not really comfortable giving gifts I have made in person.
vaknitter is offline   Reply With Quote


This advertising will not be shown to registered members. Join our free online community today!

Old 10-26-2009, 10:44 AM   #2
Working the Gusset
margz3's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,470
Thanks: 328
Thanked 780 Times in 753 Posts
I think it would be a very nice gesture to give it to her now. She will definitely know you are thinking of her, and may have some comfort knowing she is wrapped in a hug by you!


socks (still!)
baby afghans
HAP items

margz3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2009, 01:25 PM   #3
Jan in CA
Mod Squad
Jan in CA's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Southern CA
Posts: 38,159
Thanks: 1,723
Thanked 8,979 Times in 7,324 Posts
Didn't you ask this before? I swear I answered there.. I'm probably losing it... Anyhoo..I think it would be a nice gesture to give it to her. And personally I think if she knows it was meant for her dear husband that may very comforting to her.

When asking questions ALWAYS post the name and a link for the pattern if you have it.

NEW! KH knitting video archive

Last edited by Jan in CA : 10-26-2009 at 01:59 PM.
Jan in CA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2009, 01:34 PM   #4
Instepping Out
Debkcs's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Salem, OR
Posts: 2,919
Thanks: 384
Thanked 1,281 Times in 1,192 Posts
I think Jan is spot on, a gift given personally will reflect the love you have for she and her husband.

"All good things and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights who cannot change."
James 1:17
Debkcs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2009, 02:03 PM   #5
Working the Gusset
vaknitter's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: virginia
Posts: 1,732
Thanks: 450
Thanked 461 Times in 420 Posts
Jan - I think you are remembering a post I made about whether or not to finish the lapghan I had started for him. At that time he was in the ICU and they were talking about bringing him home on hospice. I think I posted that question on Wed and he died Sun morning. I'm such a sap I cannot finish the lapghan. Her shawl was already finished so now I just have to decide when is it appropriate to give it to her.
vaknitter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-2009, 08:31 AM   #6
Working the Gusset
Join Date: May 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 1,043
Thanks: 32
Thanked 308 Times in 289 Posts
I think anytime would be appropriate to give to her. I see advantages of sending it to her now (it would bring her comfort) and giving it to her at Christmas (when a lot of people might forget that she's still mourning). At the funeral is probably not the right time - most people are busy just trying to handle the details of the funeral and getting through it and then doing all the thank you notes and everything they feel they should do. My 2 cents.
cftwo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-2009, 01:47 PM   #7
Working the Gusset
HollyP's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: under a pile of UFOs and homework
Posts: 1,870
Thanks: 654
Thanked 786 Times in 577 Posts
So sorry for your loss. I think I would give it to her at Christmas. Holidays are a hard time for people who have just lost a loved one.

Southeast Baby Oddball Blog
HollyP is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to HollyP For This Useful Post:
MoniDew (11-05-2009)
Old 11-05-2009, 01:49 AM   #8
Working the Gusset
MoniDew's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Broken Arrow, OK
Posts: 1,329
Thanks: 1,367
Thanked 376 Times in 299 Posts
I think I agree with Holly P on this one. Too close to the event, and the gift will be associated with the loss. Better to wait a bit, and give it in a way that has no associations with something negative. Even if that means it waits.
MoniDew is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
FO : Care Shawl vaknitter What'cha Knittin'? 16 11-13-2009 11:31 PM
Care of Yarn photolady General Knitting 5 01-01-2008 09:11 AM
To Give up or Not to Give Up, that is the question.... IBAmyB What'cha Knittin'? 5 07-09-2007 09:17 AM
Taken care of dink Buy/Sell/Swap 5 04-11-2007 04:14 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:17 AM.