OT: Toxic "friends" - Page 2

ArtLady1981 · 06-18-2010, 11:23 PM

I just get 'too busy' to do anything with them, and my "too busy" isn't a lie. I really get TOO BUSY.

Then there's no guilt.

Knitting is a good way to be too busy.

Busy is good.

And you won't spend any more time fretting about it when you're too busy to think about her!

And all this is said with the knowledge that you are already quite busy, but you know what I mean.
Get "busier". Be unavailable. Move on, move up. Don't look back. The future is in front of us. No lookin' in the rear view mirror.

WandaT · 06-19-2010, 01:16 PM

I agree with the rest - it's something you need to do to take care of yourself but it's always easier said than done. Lots of us have been there. It's hard and it hurts - I confess, one relationship I had to end years ago still bothers me now and then, mainly because I know she still doesn't understand why I had to end it. But there are people you can't reason with and they will never understand or "get it." As far as her husband is concerned, it's his choice to keep himself surrounded with such a person. I can understand not wanting to cut him off too but if that's what you have to do to keep your mental health positive, then ya have to do what ya have to do.

Crycket · 06-19-2010, 03:43 PM

We can get busy for our D&D sessions...but Girl Guides will have to be another matter. My other leader doesn't much care for some of her behavior. That matter would have to be brought up and have her removed. I don't imagine there is any pretty way to do that...*sigh*

Irishmam · 06-19-2010, 10:40 PM

As one Leader to another, I just wanted to wish you luck with that one - a tricky situation.

Crycket · 06-20-2010, 05:05 AM

Originally Posted by Irishmam

As one Leader to another, I just wanted to wish you luck with that one - a tricky situation.

Thank you!

I don't know...She is fine with the girls, and I trust her for most things, she can just be really unreliable. There are other issues when it is at home, but with the unit, it is just that...unreliability!

It is because of that that you become bitter at having to pull more than your own weight.

Not only that, but then you have to get other people involved.

UruzPhoenix · 06-20-2010, 08:28 PM

had one of those.... i started by sending all of her calls directly to voicemail (my cell doesn't even ring when she calls because of that!). I don't respond to her e-mails and i don't make the drive to visit.

Once you get em out of your life, you'll realize just what a drain they were on you... both energy and luck wise.

Irishmam · 06-20-2010, 10:14 PM

And it is hard enough to find committed Leaders at the best of times! Is there any one else you could bring in? We have 3 Leaders for our Brownie pack so that if one cannot do the session there are still 2 present. But if she not pulling her weight with the planning and actual hands-on 'leading' it can be very tiresome - especially if they have been there a long time.

Crycket · 06-21-2010, 01:34 PM

That is very true. We are three with her. I haven't felt like I could take a night off just simply between her inconsistancy and the fact that my other leader was new, I didn't feel comfortable having that night to myself.

I guess I will let it go one more year, but it does make it kinda difficult to weed her out of my life!

melmac51 · 06-23-2010, 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by N0obKnitter

The bug appears to be popular lol.

I want to see the bug!! (have to try at home...can't see it here at work)

melmac51 · 06-23-2010, 09:05 PM

Crycket,

I've been there...it's sooo hard. Best of luck with it.