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Old 01-26-2011, 04:40 PM   #21
wellslipmystitches
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If this lady is not a knitter, how did she ever find one wrong stitch? I think she had help. Doesn't matter. What's important?

The part of my message that said, "What will it take to make you feel better(I know you're still privately seething) and resolve the issue?" is the most important. No sense getting ulcers over such a little thing.

You've had many nice comments from people trying to be helpful but, you will have to be the final judge. Sooner is better than later.

I don't know your age, but if you are young, what will you think about this in 10 or 20 years. My point? You probably won't be thinking about this in 10 or 20 years. By all means let us know how this is resolved.
Sincerely, Jean
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Old 01-27-2011, 01:52 PM   #22
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I think your cousin was very rude.
Just like the Amish and Indians, I leave mistakes purposely in my work so that I don't pride myself in perfection. Helps to keep me humble.
Tell her that you did the mistake on purpose and if she doesn't want her baby wearing something that's not perfect, to just give it away or give it back to you.
Then let this roll off your back, take the higher road and never make her anything again. I'm sure there are plenty of other friends and family who cherish your work - so don't let this one ungrateful family member get you down!
Good luck! Let us know how it turns out :-)
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Old 01-28-2011, 08:07 PM   #23
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Well, this beats the "H-E-double hockey sticks" out of the "I bet you whipped that up in one night." But at least that wasn't said to me by the recipient of the baby gift, but another shower guest.

Saying this gal was rude and unappreciative is an understatement.

Amish cross stitch samples are always missing one letter, usually the N. Their philosophy is that Only God is Perfect.

Someone should mention that to her, before she starts raising a child.
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Old 01-29-2011, 06:42 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by wellslipmystitches View Post
The part of my message that said, "What will it take to make you feel better(I know you're still privately seething) and resolve the issue?" is the most important. No sense getting ulcers over such a little thing.

I don't know your age, but if you are young, what will you think about this in 10 or 20 years. My point? You probably won't be thinking about this in 10 or 20 years. By all means let us know how this is resolved.

You're certainly right, Jean!

While I didn't go back and fix the stitch, and I probably won't be putting any serious time into making anything else for her in the future, I'm certainly not going to make a big deal out of the situation or hold a grudge.

I spoke with her about what had happened, and explained that I had found it a little bit hurtful that she was that critical of a gift that had been handmade for her child. I even brought up a few of the points mentioned in this thread (such as that little mistakes like that are how you know that something is handmade and that there are people who go out of their way to ensure there is a mistake in every piece they make to show that they are not perfect).

I'm not sure whether she completely believed everything that I said, but she did at least apologize for her behaviour. Hopefully there is something to be learned here for both of us: perhaps she won't be so quick to criticize next time, and hopefully I won't be so quick to over react and take it personally!

Thank you all for your supportive words and suggestions!
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Old 02-07-2011, 04:08 PM   #25
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Better yet... fix the mistake by sewing on a patch or something over the mess-up. It can be some kind of teddy bear or whatever.. there's lots of shapes out there. Yes, it's shallow of her to have said that... but it's very possible she doesn't really know the work that comes into it and is one of those people who when they don't know, they say or do shallow things. I've seen those people.... they don't try to be mean... they just put their foot in their mouth... a lot! You didn't overreact... you made all that stuff and really, it's more the thought that counts. Heck, SHE could put a little patch over it, even... or a decorative flower or something! Btw, overreacting would be hanging on that little hurt for too long or taking it out on someone, including her.
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Old 02-07-2011, 08:22 PM   #26
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Dear kmaclean, I'm so glad you resolved this by communicating with your cousin. Words are much better when a hammer won't do! I'm still wondering if this is her first baby? She may be so introspective and nervous about the birth that she's not very cool about her responses.

I certainly never tried to be hurtful but I'll admit to days when I only opened my mouth to exchange feet! Holey Moley, I wouldn't want to add up those days!

I think the best thing that could come out of this would be teaching your cousin how to knit. Perhaps that's the best way of giving her an idea of what goes into creating a handmade gift.

I'm reminded of remarks to my students when I taught. 'Some people just don't know any better . . . and
All of you have gifts. Please try to display them to me. Otherwise, the grade I give you will not be one of them.'

Share your gift of knitting with her. Might be good for both.
Course, give her some time to regroup after the new arrival - otherwise she might want to hang and burn you in effigy :<(
Oh Bother!
Jean
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Old 02-08-2011, 12:32 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by wellslipmystitches View Post
Dear kmaclean, I'm so glad you resolved this by communicating with your cousin. Words are much better when a hammer won't do! I'm still wondering if this is her first baby?

Yes, this is her first child .... so perhaps you are right!

I appreciate your wise advise, Jean!
Perhaps in a few months (once she's had a bit of time to adjust) I'll give that a try!
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Old 02-08-2011, 09:43 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by kmaclean View Post
Yes, this is her first child .... so perhaps you are right!

I appreciate your wise advise, Jean!
Perhaps in a few months (once she's had a bit of time to adjust) I'll give that a try!
Offer to show her how a mistake can be covered so it looks good. There's a lot of stuff that would cover it and not be a problem for the baby. If you two can get together, you can actually do it with her and maybe also make another piece match by putting something similar on it in a good spot.
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:51 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Breezed View Post
I don't think you are over reacting. I think you are venting out of frustration from making a mistake, not fixing it and feeling guilty, and then have it rudely thrown in your face.

Honestly, I think it's very rude and unappreciative of her and she'd never get another thing from me. I can not imagine 1 stitch causing an entire piece to cause such drama. Maybe you should reach out to her directly and just mention you thought it would be something special and if it's a big deal, she can donate it where it will be used by it in a nice way.

I think all of your posted work is great. Knit items for someone who may find a mistake and consider it their own special part of you. It's a reminder someone made this for you because it meant something to them.

Don't beat yourself up over not fixing it. Everyone takes a shortcut at times. Learn from it and move on and know you are talented and appreciated elsewhere.
DITTO..I TOTALLY AGREE, and you were not overreacting imo..let it go tho,and just be carefull who you knit for in the future.

p.s.knitting has taught me to let go of any thoughts of being a perfectionist,and when/if I give something it comes wrapped w/love...that's more than a knitting machine made item that is perfect can do.
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Old 02-15-2011, 07:40 PM   #30
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[quote=kellyh57;1312955]Legend has it that the Amish purposely leave in a "mistake" in every quilt to let the receiver know that it's handmade.

I heard the mistake was left in because only God can make something perfect, and we humans should be humble enough to realize it.
Write your cousin's rudeness off to hormone imbalance and forgive her. Sew a flower or decorative button or something over the stitch!
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