crochet funnies

[Cristy]

So this is about crocheting, not knitting, but someone in my SNB posted it on our message board and I could certainly relate...



Hooks & Humor: Funny Crochet Definitions
by Cindy Long

Do those crochet terms and abbreviations have you stumped? Read on...

Pattern: A set of written instructions that may or may not result in creating the object in the picture. Most patterns include a list of supplies, but this is for your amusement only. After all, Amazonian Rhesus yarn in smoky turquoise does not exist, and cannot be obtained. Patterns also have fun-to-do math problems, such as 1 dc in next 7 dc (34 dc made)…?!

Yo: Yarn Over, meaning you need to wrap your yarn over your hook. Of course, this assumes the yarn doesn’t split, fray or tangle. If this happens, yo then stands for, “Yell Outrageously.”

Dtrtrc: Double-treble-treble-crochet. This is a stitch where you yo four zillion times, insert hook in stitch and pull through the next two loops, repeating until all loops are off the hook, or until the end of time, whichever comes first.

Reverse sc: This stitch is the lefty’s revenge on all of us righties—for once we have to work backwards, too!

Catalog: A dangerous device that hypnotizes crocheters. It lulls them into a catatonic state, causing them to spend the family’s grocery money on patterns and yarn. It may also be an evil plot to cause the downfall of the American economy.

Hook: A device permanently attached to a crocheter’s hand. It is also connected to her blood supply, and if for some reason it becomes dislodged from her hand, she breaks into a sweat and starts to feel faint. If the hook cannot be immediately replaced, the only valid substitute is a catalog (see above).

Yarn: The only reason sheep farms still exist! It’s also what crocheters buy when they have money; if there’s any cash left over, they buy food and clothes.

Doily: This seemingly innocent item looks like a table protector, but if someone actually tries to put a wet glass or an ashtray on it, the creator will instantly turn into a snarling Doberman. Use doilies at your own peril.

Cat: A non-mechanical device used for unraveling afghans, unwinding skeins and keeping one’s lap warm. A cat requires daily maintenance in the form of light stroking.

Dog: Another non-mechanical device that is used for chasing down balls of yarn and putting tooth-mark engravings in wooden hooks. It’s a high-maintenance item that does not store easily.

Baby: A valid excuse to crochet something.

Housework: An ancient rite that was performed by some B.C. women (Before Crochet). Historians believe it may have had something to do with a device called a “vacuum cleaner,” which was kept in closets now occupied by yarn.

[Ingrid]

Sounds like crocheters have some of the same afflictions as knitters! :rofling:

[Cristy]

my thoughts exactly..

[AidanM]

:rofling: I've seen this before at Crochetville, but it's funny every time I see it.
I think my favourite one is Baby..

[Jenelle]

:rofling:

If only there were a knitting one

[kayeknit]

Love that!! I crocheted for about six years before I learned to knit, so I can definitely relate...
Thanks!

[nicolethegeek]

As a long-time crocheter, I can fully attest to the validity of those definitions! Yes... most of those do transfer well to knitting. For example, when DH was with me at the LYS to pick out his sock wool, the lady ahead of me in line had a small baby in a car seat carrier. I pointed to the baby and asked DH if he knew what that was... I replied, "another reason to knit!"
Example #2: a good friend of mine told me last week that she was expecting. I told her that meant I get to make cool baby schtuff, not the cheap crap I usually make for DHs family. She laughs and replies, I'm sorry for enabling your habit!

[Rose662]

LOL :D I'm a crocheter and can relate to all those terms well.

Thank you for posting this, Cristy.