I feel taken advantage of.. - Page 2

Ellieblue · 07-09-2007, 05:54 PM

My daughter has a similiar situation dealing with my gd. She has been diagnosed as bi polar and has run away from home many times. (she just turned 18)_ The only time she comes around the house is to steal something to sell. But given that, my d believed her the last time she appeared and let her stay. Needless to say, she only stayed a few days; stole money andis gone again. The reason I am telling you this is to urge you to keep a tight grip on your money and anything portable( lap tops, gameboys, etc.) Good luck with your "houseguest"

iza · 07-09-2007, 11:18 PM

It's hard. In principle the family should deal with this, but if his relationship with his family is bad to start with... Often the family is part of the problem!

From what you said, he really needed help at this moment and it's a chance your husband was there. His life might have been in danger. You definitely did the right thing. I understand how you feel however... For sure I think the sister should at least offer some apology, explain why she won't take care of him and offer to reimburse any fees. I find it kind of sad personally, maybe he feels abandoned by his own family?

jjminarcik · 07-09-2007, 11:49 PM

PaperGirl, My

goes out to you!!

I have to say that part of me thinks you did the right thing. As someone else already said, "no good deed goes unpunished". However, I have to sort-of side with the sister, too. I live far away from my family and my middle brother and his wife tend to get themselves in trouble - you name it, they've done it. Some of it has been bad luck, but some of it has been self-inflicted and bad choices. After filing bankruptcy, the last straw came when their house burned down and their two dogs died :crying::crying: Even though they pretty much lost everything, I couldn't bring myself to give them money. I bought them some things for them and the kids, but I didn't trust them. I love them, but 2 yrs later, I still don't trust them with anything. I can't say I would be a sister who would take care of him. I guess you could say I'm playing tough love, but since I'm not as involved in their lives, at least the times I do see them, we enjoy our time together. *Semi-rant alert: Also, they live down the street from my parents and they always seem to bail him out of trouble. I know they love him, but they're enabling him, which means he won't grow up. I mean, what is he going to do when/if something happens to my parents?

Semi-rant over* But I live 875 miles away, so I keep my mouth shut!

Belphoebe · 07-10-2007, 01:46 AM

Friends are the family you choose.

This past year I've been dealing with a lot on my own. I live 1,200 miles from my family and have a couple friends here. I've gone through a separation, custody fight and now divorce on my own with little help from my family. Had it not been for my friends here I would have surely been FAR worse off. My family has washed their hands of me...I'm the scandal being a divorcee and not having an honorable position (I'm a teacher, not a doctor). I feel for your dh's friend and hope he is better soon. You are blessed for having helped him when he needed it.

PaperGirl · 07-10-2007, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by Belphoebe

I'm the scandal being a divorcee and not having an honorable position (I'm a teacher, not a doctor). .

THAT is one of the most honorable things you can do.

Thanks for the advice and support. I talked with DH about it last night, and he was going to talk to the sister today....Ive been running errands all day, so hopefully things will be calmer later this afternoon.