rant on: dating

[mulene]

I'd be happy to give one of those guys a chance, if they just let me know they are interested. Thats the problem I have - terminal shyness but then if someone is way OTT hitting on me constantly it puts me off

I need a guy who can let me know without being over the top =D

[dakatzmeow]

case in point: talking to a guy. we'll call him emt/rescue dude. he works at 2 fire stations. his main job is further away. his other job, he works at a tiny little town (closer) with their volunteer fire station, once in awhile, just to help out. so on a day when he was in the closer town, we set up that i would swing by after work for a coke and a chat.

so i pull off the highway and call ahead to see what he wants to drink, my treat. the guy that answers the phone says, "he didn't work today." okay fine. i drive home.

cell phone: no answer, voicemail is full.
work phone: don't know which one he is working, so i don't call b/c i feel like an idiot.
email: sent a message saying what happened and that i would be around and would like to reschedule. no answer. has been online since then.

it's pretty obvious he doesn't want to go forward. why not just say what's on his mind?

the weird part is that we got along really well, had a lot to talk about, even spending more than an hour at a time on the phone. if he wasn't interested, why spend an hour on the phone? just doesn't make sense.

dating. ugh.

[Kaydee]

I have a friend who was dating this guy for almost 6 months, things were getting a little rough with them so she called him one day because she wanted to talk things out. He didn’t answer his phone or return her call. That was it, nothing.
Personally I think that whether you’ve only gone on a few dates or were in a relationship with the person that the party doing the breakup should have the decency and courtesy to let the person know face to face that they want to end things. Sure, it may be uncomfortable for you to face that person and say its over or whatever but as an adult those are the situations you face sometimes. I think it’s just about being respectful of the other person’s feelings and letting them know what’s going on.

[Knitting_Guy]

I don't disagree that the right thing to do is for the disinterested party, whether the male or the female, to be up front about things, but my only point was that it's far more important if you have been seeing each other on a more than casual level.

I've had women go out with me a couple of times and then just never hear from them again. No big deal to me. I've had some that I've gone out with a couple of times and have never heard from me again. No big deal.

The more serious relationship deserves more serious consideration. But that's just my opinion.

[Eloewien]

The guy I dated just before I met my husband was a bit of a jerk. I was in college, he was back home. We dated over the summer, and when I went back to school, I didn't hear from him for about two and a half months. In the meantime, I met my (now) husband. Then over thanksgiving break, the guy back home FINALLY calls me and then accuses me of cheating on him....
umm... you didn't return my calls for a few months and you consider that a relationship? as far as I was concerned.... he had dumped me.
From what I heard, he still accuses me for making him so depressed that he went and slept with a random girl and got her pregnant... just goes to show I made the right choice

[knitwit88]

I agree! As a teen, it's really hard to think you're still going out with someone and not be able to date someone else, then be out with your friends and see him on a date with someone else.

[Silver]

I'm no dating expert, as I've been off the market for 17 years, and before that I was just 17 years old... BUT... I think if they don't have the decency to call and tell you that they're not interested, who needs em? Don't let them get to you, and just remember that you're more mature and considerate than they are. Which is probably why you're not a good match in the first place!

[stitchwitch]

I've always preferred honesty no matter how bad it hurts. To leave someone hanging is a sign of immaturity and cowardice in my opinion. I would so much rather have some man say to me "you're not what I want" than to keep dragging me along or worse simply disappear and leave me going over in my head the course of the relationship to see where I failed. To have someone tell me what they didn't like is so much easier than my mind telling me I'm just plain worthless. For all I know, he simply could not like my cooking or something.
Thankfully I'm married although that brings about a whole new set of adventures.

[Knitting_Guy]

I'm no dating expert, as I've been off the market for 17 years, and before that I was just 17 years old... BUT... I think if they don't have the decency to call and tell you that they're not interested, who needs em? Don't let them get to you, and just remember that you're more mature and considerate than they are. Which is probably why you're not a good match in the first place!

Bingo! Give the lady a cigar!

[Rorshach]

hehe Mason, you should give up Truckin' and go into Dating advice