I am sorry, but I kinda avoided this thread because it always makes me cry when people lose a pet
I have to give my condolensces though, I am VERY sorry for your loss. I have a 12 yr old cat that dissapeared when we moved into our new house. He was only gone for about 12 hrs, but I was hysterical. I couldn't even walk in the parking lots of the places we went to look for him, my DH had to carry me. For those hours I really didn't think that I would be able to go on if I didn't find him. When I found him (right next door hiding in the plants... darn cat...) I cried so hard I thought I would explode.
So, I understand how sad you are and I extend all of my kittie love to you
Maybe it helps, and maybe it doesn't, but we know that he knew he was loved all of his life and loved you just as much