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Old 10-29-2007, 06:29 PM   #11
Grafting the Toe
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I'm sitting in my house, alone in my den, and laughing my head off! Y'all's stories are funny!!!

Got another story...

My daughter is in high school, and she seems to be very good "friends" with one of the guys who plays on the boys' soccer team. She wanted to walk with him out to his car the other night after a booster club meeting. I call for my hubby and tell him to follow's dark...I'm not keen on the boyfriend thing...not encouraging it one bit. DH looks at me like So I make him go. He sits on a picnic bench outside while our daughter helps the kid carry stuff to the car. She "talks" to me after we leave and explains how embarrassing that was. I tell her it's nothing compared to when we go with her on her first date.

She's like ...

No sense of humor, that young one...
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Old 10-29-2007, 07:32 PM   #12
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I know that once in a crowded drug store while waiting online--I guess I was probably 7 or 8--I spotted an ad with a term I didn't know. So I asked my mother very loudly, "Mommy, what's jock itch?" Yeah.

A few weeks ago my DD who is also 8 went with me to the Moonlight Madness sale at AC Moore. While in the knitting aisle with only two or three other people I was teasing her about something and she tried to say "It's not my fault!"--again, rather loudly (is there any other volume when you're 8?)--and accidentally came out with "It's not my fart!" The other shoppers and I found it much more amusing than she did.
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Old 10-29-2007, 09:19 PM   #13
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My neighbors across the street have two little boys. The oldest at the time was around 5 or 6 anyway he was going through some sort of naked phase where he would just dump his clothes off for no apparent reason. It happened twice or so in front of us and I know she wanted to just die. The first time she was washing her car and we were outside planting, the boy just took his shorts off and was running around the car naked while she tried to corral him. The second time, we were outside taking out garbage and he opened their front door and ran outside stark naked while making some weird noise. Of course we had to look because of the noise. Funniest part was there were some people looking at a house for sale a couple of houses away that saw the whole thing, they didn't buy the house. I think he's outgrown it now but my husband always says we'll see him at halftime someday during a football game.
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Old 10-29-2007, 10:51 PM   #14
Grafting the Toe
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I remember one time when my children were little...maybe 5 and 3, that we went to the grocery store so I could buy some contraceptives. Of course, I was already self-conscious about it, so when my daughter started questioning me about the "item," I try to ignore her. Wrong thing to do with a youngster. "Mama, what's that...what's that you're holding, but what is it for..." Young boy bagging my three items discreetly puts it in a small paper sack, but my dd is getting louder and insisting on holding the bag. Uh, no, I don't think so...I can just picture her dropping it or pulling it out of the bag. On and on until we get in the car, when she asks for the upteenth time. I finally turn to her and say, "That's stuff to make Mommy not have any more babies." She looked at me so innocently and asked, "But why don't you want more babies." Subject changed. Why, or why didn't I just answer her the first time!!
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Old 10-29-2007, 11:54 PM   #15
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embarrassing moments
I am new here, but am REALLY enjoying this thread.

I don't have kids, but I remember mortifying my Mother in church once. I was always bad to get into her purse in search of chewing gum and/or whatever else I could find. One Sunday in particular (mind you this was 30 years ago)....... I proceeded to pull out a pantyliner and lay it on the pew. I thought is was just a tissue......needless to say I wasn't allowed in her purse at church anymore
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Old 10-30-2007, 12:49 AM   #16
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The church one reminded me of one that happened when I was in church once.

We were all sitting in the pew on a hot summer afternoon. My Dad and 2 youngest brothers were the farthest away, then my mother, my closest youngest brother and then I. It was a hot sticky day and there was no such thing as air conditioning.

My brother and I weren't sitting the best, and had already received 2 or 3 under arm pinches. Those are the kind that have the slightest bit of skin but hurt like... Anyhow...

My brother didn't sit still. So my mother reached over and gently poked his leg.

My brother thought it was a fly and kind of flicked at his leg and continued wiggling. So my mother leaned over and gave him a harder poke.

My brother again, flicked at his leg.

This repeated several times each time, my mother poked harder and my brother swatted back. The thing was my brother was intently listening to something and not paying any attention at all.

Meanwhile I am getting closer and closer to bursting into laughter.

Finally my mother had more than enough and she reached over and pinched my brother's leg.

Well, my brother raised his arm right up and SLAP!!! whacked his leg. He then promptly burst into tears because... well he hit himself very hard.

I then burst into laughter and near hysterical laughter. And when my mother reached over to give me the what for... I fell off the pew, still roaring in laughter.

She went after us to 'SHHsh!'

My brother and I quickly left the pew and church and decided that it was best we walk home. We didn't stick around for Mom!

Anyhow... by the time she got home, we were on level whatever of Mario Bros, and she had forgiven us the whole incident...
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Old 10-30-2007, 10:28 AM   #17
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My father is a theoretical physicist.

Consequently, many of my embarrassing moments involve him overenthusiastically lecturing either my friends or me in the presence of my friends about something odd/we don't really care about.

Past lecture topics have included (and remember, some of these lectures were given to me and my friends when we were still in kindergarten):

*How properly holding one's golf club during miniature golfing will increase torque.

*How rainbows are really 360 degree circles.

*The patterns formed in a sandbox by the wind. Fascinating.

*Why the moon is higher in the sky in the winter than in the summer.

*How agitating a container filled to the brim with, say M&M's, will cause the broken bits to go to the bottom and create more space at the top of the container (really! This lecture I actually appreciated because my mother had to approve the amount of dessert I ate every night, so I'd shake my little cup of M&M's vigorously so it would appear that I took less than I actually did!)

*Why a frisbee will stabilize better when it is thrown at a higher velocity.

*How melted snow, oil, and salt form really neat patterns in the street.

*Why ice skating is not truly a frictionless activity.

*Why, due to the principles of particle dispersion, you don't really need to stir Crystal Light to mix it with water.

Oy gevalt! I love my dad dearly, but some days I wish he had a normal profession, like an insurance salesman.

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Old 10-30-2007, 10:53 AM   #18
Grafting the Toe
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Miss Moosey,

Sounds like he could be the guy on the show Numbers!
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Old 10-30-2007, 11:16 AM   #19
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Miss Moosey, as a physicist myself, I must say I think your dad is awesome! But maybe it's a good thing my boyfriend and I don't have kids... My boyfriend is also a scientist, can you imagine having 2 parents like that?
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Old 10-30-2007, 11:19 AM   #20
Working the Gusset
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LOL- Iza I was thinking the same thing- then Oh yeah, DH and I ARE both scientists. Kayleigh doesn't have a prayer........ I, personally, think all those things in Ms moosey's post are fascinating.... but not to your average teen.....

Dad reminded me that once he took me to the store when I was 4, I looked at the lady in front of us in line and announced "Dad! That lady isn't wearing a bra!!!"

in a separate visit, my little sister pinched some lady's behind- and the lady thought it was Dad....... LOL.....
did I say one project at a time?

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