ds's hearing aids...**Success! see #26**

[itsjustmeghan]

i'm sorry, i just need to let this all out and i have no idea where else to vent right now, so i turn to my knitting companions.
my son owen was diagnosed with hearing loss at 18 months old. he's now 20 months and we're working with the state's early intervention program, learning sign language and we've ordered his hearing aids. in the mean time, the state has lent us a pair of aids to use until his come in. which is wonderful...
except, owen won't wear them. the first couple days he wore them for 4 hours or more. it was so neat to see him relearning how to play with all of his toys, now for the sounds they make instead of the physical pushing or pulling he normally does. he also was talking more. not words, but owen-ese. making all kinds of sounds in the language he can hear.
it was so wonderful.

in the days after that we could get him to wear them for maybe 5 or 10 minutes at a time. okay. cool. at least he's wearing them right?

it's been about 5 weeks and now? he won't let us come near him with the hearing aids. i've tried letting him see them so he can see what's on his head. we've put them on his stuffed animals so he can see they have them. we've put them on me so he can see i wear them. we've tried doing the "you can only play with the playdough if you have your hearing aids in" training, and that ended with him in tears, me leaving the room to cry, and dh apologizing and tired.
all i can do right now is cry. i'm so frustrated with this whole thing. if they had just diagnosed him officially at birth (when he started failing the OAE tests they give all babies) then he would have grown up with hearing aids in and wouldn't know the difference. and i'm sure at this age we would have run into days where he fights us, but i'm sure he'd be able to hear the difference too.
but i can't dwell on "what ifs" and "i wishes".

i just don't know what to do. we've been talking to our developmental therapist/sign language teacher, and she's been helping us try. owen is just very headstrong and not easily distracted. i'm just becoming more and more aware of how far behind he's getting. and while he's learning sign language, so he's learning some form of communication, it's so frustrating when there is a simple solution that the toddler is just to little to understand...

so, i just cry when he's not in the room. i don' want him to associate me crying with him or his aids. my dh is frustrated with me crying. i'm just depressed about the whole thing and feel very litle hope for the future right now. mainly because his future relies on him. i haven't found support groups online that have people going through this. most children are diagnosed very young. or if they're diagnosed later, it's because they can hear well enough to talk so you can explain it to them. or tell them to leave them in. so far, i haven't found another person with a child his age going through this. i know they're out there, but i can't find them. i asked our DT, and she doesn't have any kids in this area with hearing loss at his age. well, she has one, but he's been in aids since birth....

anyway, i guess i just needed to get this all out. i'm just very distraught right now. trying to knit more because it's my therapy. but it's always there. and just a huge kick in the stomach with every failed attempt to get these in his little adorable ears....
blech.

so thanks for listening i guess. i'm sorry to dump all of this here....but thank you for letting me.

[Jan in CA]

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It's very difficult at that age because you just can't reason with them. I wonder if sound in general just seems to loud for him after having things so quiet for so long? Is there a volume you can turn down and then gradually turn up to test that theory?

[Denise in Michigan]

We're here to listen when you need us.

[iza]

Meghan, you need to take care of yourself. I think you need some help here, for Owen and for yourself. You seem so exhausted... and really, who wouldn't be!

I'm not sure I have good advice, but make sure his hearing aids are comfortable and don't hurt him. Once that's ruled out, you can probably ask a child psychologist to help you. A specialist might have some ideas of the best techniques to use for a child his age, and at his stage of development. It's a very difficult age to do something like this...

And of course, you can come here anytime you need to!

[hummingbird]

Wish I knew what to say to help. <HUG>
Others have posted good advice.

[cdjack]

I was a speech pathology major in college and we had to take a few audiology classes. I agree with Jan. I would make sure that the aids aren't too loud for him. I don't know about hearing aids so much but I do know that this is the case in children with cochlear implants. The kids would come in and get the volume changed every week or so.

[itsjustmeghan]

thanks everybody.
we have the volume down to 1 on his hearing aids right now. it's just rough because if the loud is bothering him, a lot of the time it's him screaming while we try to put them in. so it's a catch 22. our developmental therapist is great. she works with kids in this range every day and is trained for eveything from autism to premies to whatever life throws you. she said she would ask some collegues for some more ideas for us.
for now, i'm trying to just keep myself sane. it's crazy how being strong for everyone else (dh and ds) can all of a sudden catch up with you. i feel like i've been keeping my head level this whole time just trying to get a course of action. now we have one and just can't take that first step.
thank goodness we decided to make sign language a priority right now. most 2 year olds are "terrible" because they can't communicate what they want. it's double rough when they can't understand what you're saying to begin with. so the sign language definitely helps!
and thankfully, he's a wonderful little boy who loves snuggling, giving kisses and being a goofball. that definitely makes things a lot easier.
i'm off. got the little one down to bed, dh is at a concert tonight, and i'm going to snuggle up in my bed, pop in a bad romantic comedy, and knit....ahh sweet therapy....

[Knitting_Guy]

Patience.

[Itsabtme]

I'm so sorry that your are going through this right now. I can only imagine how frustrated you are. I only wish that I had some good solid advice for you...only

[letah75]

I concur with the advice that you need to take some time for yourself. You need to call a girlfriend hang out, go get a massage, hang out at a coffee/tea shop, get a pedicure with your girlfriend, etc.

Have your little one stay with someone for the night, and have husband and wife night.

You need to spend some time being yourself, not mommy or wifey, then you can spend some time being just wifey, then you can go back to mommie.