I Really Do Hate My Animals

[saracidaltendencies]

haha....

They are SERIOUSLY buttheads! So, I have decided to start blogging about all the ways my animals make my life miserable...lol...I am also including pictures of the suspects of wrongdoing and, the guilty parties, when I know which buttheaded animal is the guilty one...lol...Feel free to follow my misery! I must warn, however, I am a fan of expletives and use them quite casually

http://h8myanimals.blogspot.com/

[bambi]

That is hilarious! I thought my cat was bad for peeing in the bathtub drain and making that half of the house smell like a cat box.

[saracidaltendencies]

Oh man, I wish my cats would pee in the bathtub! Then again, they might if they actually had access to the bathtub...The only tub is in the bathroom in my bedroom and I have to keep my bedroom door shut otherwise the jerks will crap on my bed! GRRR!!

[wellslipmystitches]

Sara, All my animals have given me more joy than any of the so called entertainment media.'

We love them, give them free medical care and food and in return they teach us lessons . . . first one, we are not the rulers of our domain. A writhing, whimpering, unabashed little ball of fur can cause an upheaval to any household. At least till the humans get the message.

I think Woodi said it best with her haikus. Wonderful haikus at that.
I've tried to do haikus and it's very difficult to include brevity and measured language with ultimate meaning. She did it! Probably the best stuff I've seen in a long while. She's very good. I think her attitude shines and adds to everything you've said so I'm reposting them. Jean


some cat haikus? From Woodi.

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
----

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.
----

There's no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.
----

Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
----

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.
----

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.
----

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.
----

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
----

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

[fatoldladyinpjs]

I thought I had the only animals that drove me crazy. The cats clawed their way into the kitchen cabinets and raided the catnip stash. Clawed a hole right in the bag, chaff all over the place, and the two of them rolling around on the floor pie-eyed. One of my indoor cats managed to get outside in the flower bed when someone accidentally left the door open. Now Taste of Freedom has been hovering near the door for the last two weeks trying to make a jail break. Never a dull moment around here.

[saracidaltendencies]

I just came up with a haiku that is more fitting of my cats...

Evil lies in wait
Oh bringer of misery
Soft as cotton balls.

[fatoldladyinpjs]

My boy and girl cat have this thing that they do every day. The boy cat tries to assert his dominance over my female. He chases her around and corners her. She's half his size. She swats him a good one on the nose and he leaves her alone. Every time we see a new scratch on his nose we say, Oh I see the Killer got you again. The Queen always wins. It's been 10 years that he's been doing this and the boy never learns. This is the same brave boy cat that dives under the sofa and hides every time it thunders. lol

[lelvsdgs]

Wow, and I thought it was just us and we were doing something wrong...

[fatoldladyinpjs]

I like the titles on your blog: The suspect, The guilty party. My cats have their moments, too. Mine are gourmet cats who will starve for three days rather than eat cat food they don't like. Generic cat food? Not a chance. It can only be Purina brands. They will rattle the kitchen cabinet door and keep meowing if their dish is empty or the cat box needs to be cleaned. The entire apartment is their bed. They might make room for you on your bed once in a while if they feel like it. I'm beginning to think all clothing comes with cat hair. I don't even bother picking it off anymore. If a human person doesn't like the fact that I'm hairy, too bad. After dealing with my cats, I don't have the energy to pick up a lint/cat hair brush.

[Arielluria]

That's funny! Adorable pets too.