Wow! So one of the revelations I had was that what makes a stretchy bind off, edge, etc. is the amount of yarn used in it
I never realized this was the reason before
now it seems so obvious, very exciting. I've always bound off in a needle three to four sizes larger than the one used for knitting the project, so it made for a stretchy edge, but I never knew the why of it.
So keeping this in mind, thank you @GG, your comment about the crab stitch gave me pause to ponder, I will be able to figure out the neck edge. I tried the small shell stitch this morning, and it looks good; the project will need to be off the needles for me to determine hook size and spacing, I think I can make it work.
Thank you all!