Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-16-2005, 08:57 AM   #1
Egeria
Knitting the Flap
 
Egeria's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 323
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Send a message via MSN to Egeria Send a message via Yahoo to Egeria
Am I overreacting?!
Hey everyone, I just want to ask a sort-of-knitting question. Just had a fight with the husband over knitting and I don't know if I'm overreacting or what.

Thing is, my husband likes to pick up my needles and play with them. He also uses them as a back scratcher and even a head scratcher. While I was in here blogging he was playing with my crochet hook.

I asked him to stop playing with my tools as I feel it is disrespectful. He himself is a craftsperson (bricklayer) and I do not touch his tools ever!

I just feel like he should leave my knitting stuff alone, as I want my needles to be clean and him using them to scratch his back is just wrong! He feels I'm being stupid and that him playing with my needles etc is funny.

What do you guys think? Am I being 'anal' here or am I in the right?
__________________
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain" ~Dolly Parton
http://knit-wit.blog-city.com
Egeria is offline   Reply With Quote

 

This advertising will not be shown to registered members. Join our free online community today!

Old 01-16-2005, 11:44 AM   #2
anise
Ribbing the Cuff
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 42
Thanks: 0
Thanked 38 Times in 2 Posts
The thing is, it doesn't matter if you're being anal or not. The point is, they belong to you and you don't like it. Period. He should respect your desires as far as how your own tools are treated. It's a simple matter of respect.

Maybe you need to put them some place where it will be inconvenient for him to mess with them.
anise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2005, 12:06 PM   #3
solsken
Casting On
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: NH
Posts: 2
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I agree, I don't like when my needles and yarn, etc are played with.
solsken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2005, 12:21 PM   #4
ladyindica2000
1st Leg of the Journey
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 191
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
I don't think that you are overreacting, but maybe you could buy him a set of his own needles and then he would have some to play with if he feels that he really needs to. Just a thought.

HTH!!

Trish
__________________
On the Needles: Calla Tank (Magknits.com) and a baby blanket for my co-worker

Next on the Needles: My own design!!!

Check out my blog: http://seetrishknit.blogspot.com/

My geek code: KE++C+ Exp SPM+ Den++ Steel (+) Addi>+ Syn++ Nov Cot+ Wool> Lux> Hemp? Stash++ Scale++ Fin Ent? FI> Int> Tex> Lace? Felt? Flat Circ+ DPN> Swatch-- KIP SNB> EZ? FO7 WIP1 Guage B+ Cr+ Sw+++ Sp>
ladyindica2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2005, 12:43 PM   #5
amy
Administrator
Site Admin
 
amy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Western Massachusetts
Posts: 3,783
Thanks: 348
Thanked 752 Times in 157 Posts
I completely agree here. He should respect your wishes. Maybe he just can't relate to loving knitting and taking it seriously. (I can't relate to loving brick-laying, but I could imagine someone taking it seriously as an artform, and I would definitely respect their wishes if they said to lay off the tools!) In any case, it's something that's important to your heart, and there are natural limits to what feels right when someone's joking about something important to you. Trust your heart.

When Sheldon crosses that line, which I think is natural if someone can't relate to your passion, I stay firm. I always try to communicate clearly, with understanding where he's coming from; like, I just tell him what I want, without anger in my voice, but clearly. Of course sometimes, if it's really crossing a boundry, I can't help getting mad. That's healthy, I think, and can effectively communicate how important something is to you! Definitely hold your ground, and communicate with as much understanding as you can, and do forgive him for not knowing; but don't second guess your feelings, it's clearly important to you and he should respect it, "period," as anise said!

I used to have no idea that I was crossing a border with Sheldon when I'd constantly offer "helpful" comments when he was doing something. He'd feel disrespected, like I didn't trust him to do things on his own. Now I totally get it, but it took me a little while. Now I can offer comments here and there, and he doesn't take it that way, because we've established that I trust and respect him. But first we had to communicate, and it was a little uptight, and that was just part of the process. Now we can totally joke about it.

Definitely you're on the right track I'd say, and not over-reacting.

Amy
__________________
~Amy
KnittingHelp Queen Bee


‎"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open."
Martha Graham
amy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2005, 01:36 PM   #6
Egeria
Knitting the Flap
 
Egeria's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 323
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Send a message via MSN to Egeria Send a message via Yahoo to Egeria
Thanks for replying, I'm so glad for that! I really was second guessing myself. I will have to be firm with him I guess, although he's very mean when arguing. Like he told me that he didn't mind if I messed with his bricklaying tools (implying that I'm mean to ask him not to play with my knitting stuff).

In any case, I think I will buy him a pair of his own needles, thanks for that idea Trish!

Thing is Amy, I believe in communication and trust and respect, but communicating with him is extremely hard to do. Essentially, we can have a serious conversation once in a while, but after about two sentences he's cracking jokes and giving stupid answers. I've learned to deal with it, but at times like these it really gets on my nerves!!

Anise, I keep my needles etc in a box in the spare room with all my yarn. It's when I'm sitting watching tv or something that it happens. If I get up to get a drink or whatever, I set my knitting down and leave the room, bingo, he picks up my spare needle and plays with it. I come back and see it, ask him nicely but firmly not to play with my needles and he kicks off! (At this moment I have my current project sitting beside me and well away from him!)

Anyway, I thought I'd ask other knitters their views, so thanks!!
__________________
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain" ~Dolly Parton
http://knit-wit.blog-city.com
Egeria is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2005, 03:05 PM   #7
Anne
Knitting the Flap
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 257
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
This brought back a memory. My Husband insisted on using my garden tools for anything but gardening. Husband is not a gardener. Everytime i used my tools i cleaned them and if neccesary oiled them. To many times i would go to use one of my garden tools finding them dirty or misplaced.

Asking him Not to use them was like talking to a wall. One day after he washed his "precious car" i swear he spit shines the darn thing, i thought i know what i can do.

I told him i was going to the store. It had rained the day before. Hurray! Off i went in HIS car up and down a muddy road, back and forth. I drove a muddy car back home.

Well, let me tell you he was Not HAPPY. I told him you can wash it again, thats what i have to do with my garden tools everytime you use them.

He looked at me like i had lost my mind. He did wash the car again plus polished it too... When he was finished he said " I get your point".

So far he has left my garden tools alone.

If he continued using my knitting needles when i ask him not to this is what i would do. Take him to a store walking him to where the needles are. Here are the needles you so love to use. BUY YOUR OWN!!!!
Anne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2005, 03:14 PM   #8
Egeria
Knitting the Flap
 
Egeria's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 323
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Send a message via MSN to Egeria Send a message via Yahoo to Egeria
Anne thanks for that story! It's great to know I'm not alone in dealing with a stubborn man! Ironically, talking to my husband is quite like talking to a brick wall! Think he spends too much time building them. You handled that situation beautifully, kudos!

Next time I drag him to the wool store I'm going to have him pick out his own needles. I'll even tag them so he knows they are his and I won't even look at them. Think it'll work?

Oh a sadder note, last Christmas I bought him a back scratcher. I think he's used it once.
__________________
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain" ~Dolly Parton
http://knit-wit.blog-city.com
Egeria is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2005, 03:47 PM   #9
Anne
Knitting the Flap
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 257
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Some men are big babies. They like the attention. I have made several scarfs this Winter to give as gifts. My Husband ask me why i gave them all away? Duhhhh!! Gifts... Then i thought to myself i bet he would like me to knit one for him. One day he ask me why i didnt make one for him?

Never in my wildest dreams did i think he would wear it. He ask for a black scarf so that is what i am doing now. In fact he told me how long it should it be. lol.... Would you like fringe also? NO!!!!!
Anne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-16-2005, 06:01 PM   #10
beldaraan
Working the Gusset
 
beldaraan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,527
Thanks: 34
Thanked 98 Times in 18 Posts
Egeria~

Quote:
Ironically, talking to my husband is quite like talking to a brick wall! Think he spends too much time building them.
That is hilarious. ROFLMAO!!!

I don't know if "fighting" back with a prankster with another prank is a good idea, but....he has tools right...He must also have something equivalent to a carpenter's belt to hold his tools while working. I would be tempted to replace his tool belt with a frilly, lacey, pink KNITTED one. Make sure you leave a spot to put in some of his own knitting needles too. Wrap it up, make him open it infront of his workmates (if his ego can handle it, otherwise alone is fine). Say, "Haha, now you have your own knitting tools, so mine can go back to knitting and not scratching your back." Or..."How thoughtless of me. All this time you've been playing with my knitting stuff, I never thought that you might actually want me to knit something for you." 8)

Anne~

Your stories are great. It was fortunate that you could prove your point to your husband with something that had the same level of value to you. If he only cared about watching football on tv, then I just can't imagine how you would pull off the same effect. Maybe put mud on the tv right before the Superbowl :?:
beldaraan is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Am I actually doing something wrong or am I overreacting? Twilightreader General Knitting 15 02-01-2012 01:11 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:54 AM.