Here's mine. I can't believe I didn't include "boobies" in there anywhere...thanks for taking care of that, Kelly!
North Pole, Earth
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Jill's Office party. It was Cathy who spiked the punch with too much Pepsi. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like strawberries.
I thought it was funny when I put Suzanne's sweater on my head and danced the rumba on the chair while singing `Everybody Wants to Rule the World'. I didn't mean to break Jill's blender and don't know why Jill would accuse me of theft.
I don't remember calling Jeff's wife a cushy cow---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and yellow lipstick!
And when I threw up on Laurel's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that cheese.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a sweet cat and have me arrested for embezzlement!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all surly and finicky. And I'm really not to blame for any of this dirty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and slowly yours,
Angelia (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 5 bucks!