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Old 02-20-2006, 06:55 PM   #1
Chel
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[OT] Wrong?
Sorry for the OT thread, but I could use someones opinion... and in advance I apologize for the length...
My next door neighbor is a very sheltered, immature 36 year old who has lived with her mother all her life. I had some traumatic events coinside with my mothers decline in health so I moved back home. I am 31 by the way. In August 05 my neighbor lost her mother, and a little over a month later I lost my best friend. Losing Daniel devastated me... and my neighbor has no real friends or family... so my mom and I have sort of taken her under our wing. She has no car so I give her a ride in to work and home every day. I have been doing this for 6 months now...she doesn't contribute towards gas, and it has added an additional 45 minutes per day to my commute. She also works on Sundays, but I am off so I either get up at the crack of dawn and take her in and then go get her or I allow her to drive my car (the only car I have ever bought new and picked out entirely on my own).
So today I was supposed to work...but played hookie to... well... knit. I allowed her to drive my car and as she was pulling up infront of my house she hit the trash can. So okay...its plastic, but still.... she hit it and pushed it about 3 feet.
I am SO angry that I am sitting in my room typing this because I KNOW if I go over there I will throttle her. I CAN NOT BELIEVE SHE WAS ABUSING MY CAR LIKE THAT after all the nice stuff I try to do for her. Ugh!

So I am now sitting here trying to think rationally before I get charged with asualt... Am I just being materialistic? Am I blowing this out of proportion? I suppose I am reluctant to confront her because I haven't been the most stable person since losing Daniel and I know I can emotionally go over the edge pretty easy...also, hanging out with her has sort of filled a void allowing me to keep my mind off losong Daniel.

So whats the verdict? Am I overreacting? I would just like the point of view from someone not emotionally invested.
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:11 PM   #2
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Did she hit it on purpose? Either way, I would not allow her to drive your car anymore, nor would I drive her anywhere. It's been 6 months-it's time for her to get her own vehicle...just my opinion
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:15 PM   #3
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I'd throttle her :devil: Not really but I sure would have her chip in for gas.!!!!!And no way in H#~* would I get up on my day off and take her to work .I'd buy her a bus pass. It would be different if she was a long time friend or relative.But that's just me.How long do you have to keep doing this? I think she taking advantage of your kindness. I vote to buy her a bus pass :D
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:23 PM   #4
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Oh yeah....
She knew she was hitting it... she used to run over hers ith her car all the time. In her mind I don't think she did anything wrong...

And as for her getting a new car... well thats not going to happen anytime soon. To put it plainly, her intelligence is well below average and she makes $12 per hour... we live in one of the highest cost of living areas in the US.

Part of me says to cut my losses because she is not my problem... the other part of me says too many people think like that and that indifference to fellow man is detrimental to the entire human race.
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:33 PM   #5
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i wouldn't let her drive your vehicle anymore.

i personally wouldn't let many people drive my vehicle - including most of my good friends. i'm an insurance agent so that probably has to do with my feeling on it. pretty much what ever they do is subject to your policy and it will pay the consequences for it. just not worth it to me.

i also agree that it's been a little while now and you should probably cut the rides off. i don't see that as being unkind - it just seems that she needs to start making it on her own - know what i mean?
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:35 PM   #6
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I think I'd be very resentful and feel like I was being taken advantage of. I'm sure I would also have helped in the beginning, but she needs to become self-sufficient at some point in her life. I'd start with having her find a way to work on Sundays and not letting her use the car. Tell her it's an insurance thing.
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:37 PM   #7
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Re: Oh yeah....
Originally Posted by Chel
She knew she was hitting it... she used to run over hers ith her car all the time. In her mind I don't think she did anything wrong...

And as for her getting a new car... well thats not going to happen anytime soon. To put it plainly, her intelligence is well below average and she makes $12 per hour... we live in one of the highest cost of living areas in the US.

Part of me says to cut my losses because she is not my problem... the other part of me says too many people think like that and that indifference to fellow man is detrimental to the entire human race.
Just curious if you live near Annapolis...the high cost of living makes me think of home!
Either way, if you feel like you can, you should tell her that hitting things with your car is not in any way an acceptable thing, especially if she just doesn't think she did anything wrong.
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:40 PM   #8
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:)
You guys are great...

I was feeling taken advantage of. Now when I talk to her I can do it a bit more confidently knowing I am responding to the issue at hand and not others I am trying to deal with on the back burner.

I guess I pity her a bit...
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:42 PM   #9
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I wouldn't let her drive your car anymore either, there is just too much that could happen, next time it might not be a trash can. Definitetly tell her it's an insurance thing.
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Old 02-20-2006, 07:47 PM   #10
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I figured I should ammend my reply...I agree with everyone who says she shouldn't drive your car anymore, but I really do think she should be told it's not cool to hit things with cars.
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