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Old 02-20-2006, 07:53 PM   #11
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Nope, Not in Annapolis...but not too far either. We are right outside D.C.
Ohhh and since you are local have you been to the Celtic Yarn store in Historic Ellicott City? *drools*

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Old 02-20-2006, 08:03 PM   #12
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No, I haven't! I only got into knitting a little over a year ago, and I've spent most of that time in Rochester. Sounds like something I'll have to investigate, though!
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Old 02-20-2006, 08:06 PM   #13
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Great shop
I believe the site for it is
I love the place! As a matter of fact, it was them who told me about this site.

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Old 02-20-2006, 08:07 PM   #14
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Personally I wouldn't let her drive my car(even though I don't have one).

I think it was pretty bad that she was very careless with your car and ran into your trashcan. I don't think I would trust her anymore because just think about what other things she could have ran into.

Also, did you check your car for damages?
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Old 02-20-2006, 08:26 PM   #15
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I agree - she needs to be off your list. You are not responsible for her. Period.
Ok - she has some emotional issues and you want to do the right thing.
Thats commendable. But really you are putting your self in a possition of liability. What if she is hitting more than plastic trash cans? If she is driving your car you may be held liable for damages. It certainly WILL hurt your insurance if she were to have an accident.

You said her intelligence is well below normal. Does she qualify as developmentally disabled? Your local bus service may offer door to door service. In my area its called access-a-ride. It picks up anyone with physical or developmental problems right at their door and takes them where they need to go. A schedule may be arranged or on call basis.

I have more ideas IF she is developmentaly disabled. I had an uncle and a cousin both with emotional / developmental disabilities. I would be happy to jot down some more resources for you.
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Old 02-20-2006, 08:47 PM   #16
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Hi! I grew up in Baltimore. I miss it!

Obviously, you're too nice of a person to just march up to her house and tell her you've had it. It might be tim e to tart dropping some pointed hints. For instance, make sure you get gas when she's in the car--as you're pulling into the station, say "WOW! Gas sure has gotten exensive!" Then, *every time* you fill up, make a point to say how much it cost the fill the tank "Man, it was 24.57 to fill the tank! I must have been REALLy empty"... or "great, it only cost me 22.87 today!"

You might also try taking a day off every once in a while.... "oh, thursday i'm going to <insert lie>, so I can't take you to work. I hope this is enough notice for you to find a ride."

Or you could just got throttle her.
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Old 02-20-2006, 08:57 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by momwolf
I'd throttle her :devil: Not really but I sure would have her chip in for gas.!!!!!And no way in H#~* would I get up on my day off and take her to work .I'd buy her a bus pass. It would be different if she was a long time friend or relative.But that's just me.How long do you have to keep doing this? I think she taking advantage of your kindness. I vote to buy her a bus pass :D
Why can't she buy her own bus pass????? :thinking:
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Old 02-20-2006, 09:29 PM   #18
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Imagine how you would feel if she hurt someone with your car. Then realize that if she hit someone then panicked and left the scene, it would be YOU they would look for. I'm sorry, but she should NEVER be allowed to drive your car.

You should free yourself completely from her dependency. Ask her to find other transportation, you are stressing yourself out over something that is her responsibility.

You sound like a lovely person. Hugs for you!
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Old 02-20-2006, 09:53 PM   #19
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Be direct, but prepared. Be prepared for tears or screaming. Have a bus schedule in hand, suggest she carpool with employees at her business, tell her you'll help her pick out a car this weekend.

If she says that you've always helped her & why can't you continue, tell her you are helping her, you are helping her to be independent. If you need some white lies, tell her you have to work late, or you're taking a class after work or you need to run personal errands after work. Tell her for the sake of your mental health, you need to sleep in on Sundays or exercise or go to church.

Do not help her financially unless you don't care if you get paid back. Do not let her borrow your car again - use that insurance excuse. Please don't let her continue to use you - she's gone way over the limit. I speak from experience, that this will end up hurting you more if it continues than it will hurt her now to break it off.
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Old 02-21-2006, 12:25 AM   #20
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It was very kind of you to help her. Particularly as she appears to have what is tantamount to a disability.

Sometimes when all is going well, I am eager to be charitable. I have learned that I need to carefully evaluate before I say yes to something (loaning at item, offering my time, etc). If I suspect that I'm going to end up griping about my good deed, I say no, since I consider it a worse fault in myself to pretend charity than to refuse it.

So if'n I were you, I would only lend the car if I was ready to accept damage to it (which pretty much means no, then). There's no point in lecturing the woman. She's obviously missing essential social skills and she won't actually profit from the explanation.

So I'd say "No, I'm afraid I can't lend you the car" without any further explanation. Repeat ad nauseum. The answer to "why" is a pleasant "I'm not lending it any more."

And thanks again for having been a compassionate neighbor to someone in need.
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