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Old 07-21-2006, 08:58 PM   #1
ebrperk
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OT-Pet Rules
There are so many pet lovers on here that I thought you might get a smile of this email my sister sent me.


PET RULES...

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
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Old 07-21-2006, 09:05 PM   #2
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Re: OT-Pet Rules
This is cute. Gave me a few chuckles.



Except this line:
Quote:
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
That's just not funny. :|


The rest is cute though.
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Old 07-21-2006, 09:11 PM   #3
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Funny stuff!!
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Old 07-21-2006, 09:22 PM   #4
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:rofling: That was hilarious! Reminded me of my 2 dogs and cat!
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Old 07-21-2006, 09:27 PM   #5
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Quote:
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
That's how it should be! I don't know how many times we had to discuss that with our family. :rollseyes:
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Old 07-21-2006, 09:35 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Jenelle


Quote:
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
That's how it should be! I don't know how many times we had to discuss that with our family. :rollseyes:
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Old 07-21-2006, 09:57 PM   #7
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LOL :rofling: too funny, I'm happy to know that I am not the only one with the bathroom problem! Sally and Moshi follow me around all the time, which is fine...but, a girl needs some privacy now and then...it's not really time that's allotted for head scratching

And, if you want to complain about my beds..don't come over
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Old 07-21-2006, 10:08 PM   #8
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Funny!! We have a kingsize bed, and between my DH and boston terrier, Im lucky if I end up with a quarter of the bed! And trying to get her to move is like trying to move a mountain!
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Old 07-21-2006, 10:20 PM   #9
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This is my favorite:

Quote:
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
I want my cats to understand this, I really REALLY do! :rofling:
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Old 07-21-2006, 10:38 PM   #10
 
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BRAVO

That is priceless!!! Thanks for the laughs. And they are all true. We've been hunting for a king-size bed for a few months now because there is just no room for all of us!!
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