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Old 06-18-2007, 09:54 PM   #71
letah75
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Originally Posted by feministmama View Post
Interesting. I think bringing up gay pride is similar to talking about a het person's marriage. I don't think either of those things are about anyone's sex life but a celebration of love.

I just want to know that I can come to KH for knitting community and to know I am accepted for who I am just like anyone else. And if people can talk about their marriages, their children and other issues openly then I feel everyone has a right to speak openly as well.

Amen Feministmama! I totally agree with you! Love and sex are not mutually exclusive. Love is rare enough, personally I think if you find it with someone more power to you....So many people lack it in their lives.

It is what makes the world go 'round...or so my mama said.
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Old 06-18-2007, 09:59 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by feministmama View Post
Oof. That did sound kinda judgmental didn't it. That post was supposed to be about using your post as an example of a hot button issue that is allowed to be discussed on KH forums. I'm soooooo sorry if it came out judgmental.

No, it didn't. I was just concerned that maybe my post had really come across that way. A lot of people read and responded to my post, and it concerned me that maybe I had really come across as a vengeful mom.

And I did understand what you meant by using my post as an example to controversial topics.

We're okay. ;-)

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Old 06-18-2007, 10:03 PM   #73
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KellyK, believe me, I think the mods are doing a fantastic job and I am not doubting their judgment whatsoever. I am absolutely convinced they did not intend to censor a particular subject. I just fear that it could become difficult to post on some subjects, if all it takes to have a thread deleted is to use one or two hurtful words. I can see people with an "agenda" doing it on purpose... am I paranoid?

I agree feministmama, I've seen so many posts about pregnancies (and I like reading them), I think it says a lot more about a person's sex life than talking about gay pride!
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Old 06-18-2007, 10:26 PM   #74
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This is interesting.. I think the way issues are phrased can sometimes make them different than others. Do I think a 'pride' post is the same as a pregnancy post? Hmmm..tough call but again it depends on phrasing. It could be..it would not be for me if a socio-political edge was put into the post. Lesbian women DO fall pregnant of course Gay men do foster/adopt children of course (in some countries anyway).

Personally..I'm not totally comfortable with people living out their personal lives online..but that's partly to do with ethics. I must admit if my partner was online telling a bunch of people our personal issues and I hadn't given permission for that..I'd be hopping mad.

Perhaps it's best I respond to the non personal OT topics and avoid what sometimes causes me discomfort..which is the personal restraint we've been talking about
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:22 PM   #75
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I didn't have time to compose this properly earlier, but I want to point out that I've moved the original post to public view again. It is locked, but in public view. The intentions of the mods were not to censor, but to curtail what they feared was too hot a topic and was getting unavoidably more provocative.

My feeling is that, although a couple of strong words were used, that they weren't used with hurtful intention by anyone towards anyone, certainly not towards any particular members, and in fact quite the opposite, I feel like people really made an effort to be careful to not hurt each other during discussion. I think we have an INCREDIBLE community here. I'm actually quite proud of the thread, in that it demonstrates this to me. I'm also proud of the mods for keeping such a hawk eye for possible hurt feelings. Everyone has acted with the absolute purest of intentions, and biggest heart, and it's wonderful. I love you all!
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:16 AM   #76
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Originally Posted by feministmama View Post
... if people can talk about their marriages, their children and other issues openly then I feel everyone has a right to speak openly as well.
I once worked with a gay man who placed on his desk a framed photo of himself and his partner on vacation. Some colleagues were quite upset -- never mind that they had pictures of their spouses in their office.

Something as simple as saying "my husband and I ..." or "I'm pregnant" is indeed sharing your sex life and your sexual orientation. It's very unfair, then, to ask gay and lesbian folks to never discuss their lives as it relates to their partners when those partners are significant in their lives.
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Old 06-19-2007, 09:33 AM   #77
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Originally Posted by Inis View Post
Something as simple as saying "my husband and I ..." or "I'm pregnant" is indeed sharing your sex life and your sexual orientation. It's very unfair, then, to ask gay and lesbian folks to never discuss their lives as it relates to their partners when those partners are significant in their lives.


ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not a big fan of controversial subjects but I feel people should be free to be "who they are" without fear of repriasal or judgement. A person should be able to be open (if they chose to) about their life without having to defend or explain their choice. But neither do I believe a knitting forum should be about furthuring a cause whether it is religion, politics or lifestyle.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:27 PM   #78
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Personally, I kind of like "touchy" subjects. I think it's good to touch on things that make us uncomfortable because it causes us to think. And, well, thinking is underrated these days.

I have a co-worker who is, shall we say....not very tolerant of homosexuality. She has also never "known" anyone who is gay. My personal beliefs and her beliefs vary WILDLY from one another. But we got on the topic one day, and discussed it very calmly and maturly.

It was about a 2 hour discussion, and at the end, she came to the realization that her issues were religious, and while she didn't agree with a religious marriage cerimony, she didn't have an issue with a civil marrige for homosexual couples, as that was a "legal contract", and everyone should be equal in the eyes of the law.

While I still didn't agree with her, I was amazed/delighted that she was willing to discuss a topic that was such a touchy issue for her. And she was willing to revise her position...a little. Not because I pushed her to, but because the discussion made her think about why she held the beliefs she did.
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:40 PM   #79
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Originally Posted by feministmama View Post
Interesting. I think bringing up gay pride is similar to talking about a het person's marriage. I don't think either of those things are about anyone's sex life but a celebration of love.

I just want to know that I can come to KH for knitting community and to know I am accepted for who I am just like anyone else. And if people can talk about their marriages, their children and other issues openly then I feel everyone has a right to speak openly as well.
I agree 100%. BTW, I want to see the rasta hat when you're through. I saw that Knitty episode.
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Old 06-19-2007, 09:11 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by feministmama View Post
Interesting. I think bringing up gay pride is similar to talking about a het person's marriage. I don't think either of those things are about anyone's sex life but a celebration of love.

I just want to know that I can come to KH for knitting community and to know I am accepted for who I am just like anyone else. And if people can talk about their marriages, their children and other issues openly then I feel everyone has a right to speak openly as well.
I don't disagree with you at all. I re-read what I wrote and could have worded it better as I think it communicated the wrong message. I was tired, what can I say?

My real point was that the topic itself lends more towards politics than anything else, and that's bound to stir up trouble as almost any political thread will.

I'm a member of a men's knitting forum and the vast majority of the members there are gay (I think there are only two of us who aren't). If it bothered me or I had a problem with that I wouldn't be a member there. They're a great bunch of guys.


Sorry if my poor wording sent the wrong message.
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