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Old 06-19-2007, 01:02 AM   #1
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MIL Diagnosed with Brain & Lung Cancer
My MIL had a grand-mall seizure on Saturday. She was unconscious/out of it for a full 15 minutes.

The CAT scan showed two quarter sized tumors in her brain that caused the seizure. An xray of her lungs also showed several masses of cancer. Her lung collapsed as doctors attempted a biopsy of one of the lung massed.

Today, the doctor gave her 30 days without radiation of the brain tumors, four to six months WITH the radiation and chemo.

Yet, today she INSISTED on going outside in her hospital gown for a freaking smoke!!!! She has smoked for near 50 years. I suppose she has nothing to lose at this point, but her daughter and several grand children went with her for their own smokes!

I tried really hard to bite my tongue. I find myself more than a little angry at my MIL for not looking after her health but MORE SO for having so little regard for her own off-spring's health. OMG what twisted logic is this?

I promised my husband that I wouldn't lecture, but dang it how do you just stand by and watch the people you care about kill themselves?
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Old 06-19-2007, 02:25 AM   #2
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Trust me, you're not the only one biting your tongue. I see a lot of women smoking when pregnant, when breastfeeding, around their children. I see mothers with kids out on the sun when it's 35C degrees without a hat or something. I think sometimes that people need to get a license to become parents. I guess people always think it won't happen to them...
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:06 AM   #3
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OMy, hang in there- it won't be easy to stand by.... hugs for you
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Old 06-19-2007, 11:37 AM   #4
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How awful for you and your family. That's not a very encouraging prognosis. It must be very scary for your MIL.

Maybe her daughter/grandkids will see the damage smoking can do--but maybe for now, they were just needing to be close to your MIL.

As a reformed smoker, I can attest to how hard it is to quit.

That's Mr. Sissy to you...
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Old 06-19-2007, 12:46 PM   #5
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Sorry you all have to go though this. I'll keep you and your family in our prayers..
My Mom lived for 8 months after she was diagnosed with cancer. And I'm a cancer survivor..
I too am a reformed smoker. And it is hard to quit.. After 3 years I still crave one...
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Old 06-19-2007, 01:16 PM   #6
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I am sorry to hear this, but I have to tell you, when my grandmother found out she was going to die, she kept smoking too.

Her logic? She was going to die- and soon- and smoking was something she enjoyed. Why struggle to give it up just before you die, especially if it won't prolong your life?

However, my Dad (her son) quit smoking right away and has never started again. He was a smoker for 30+ years at that point.

It hasn't been all that long that we have really known just how bad cigarettes are, and I have seen ads from the 30's that showed endorsements from DOCTORS about smoking being good. I imagine if you start when you are very young thinking they aren't that bad... you are just way too addicted to be able to stop. It takes a lot of willpower. If it didn't there wouldn't be so many issues about that.

As for her kids, well, I would like to think that at least one of them will quit from seeing what their mother/grandmother goes through.

I guess what I am saying is they already know how bad smoking is- no one these days can claim otherwise. Your bugging them to quit will help no one. They need to do it for themselves and they won't quit until they can do that, so just let it go and enjoy the time you have with her.

Hugs for you... This stuff is so hard to see.
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Old 06-19-2007, 01:35 PM   #7
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It must be very hard to see something like this. Being healthy is, when we think of it, not that difficult. If you eat well, exercise, don't smoke, don't have too much alcohol and wear your seat belt in a car, you have good chances of a long life. Of course sometimes diseases and accidents happen to people who are responsible with their health, and that's very unfair. But yet so many people don't do these very simple things... and then complain about doctors and nurses not being able to save them. :rollseyes:

I can understand to some extent her logic though. She will die, stopping now won't make a difference. If it's the only pleasure she can have, why not... Still, I definitely understand your frustration.
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Old 06-19-2007, 01:36 PM   #8
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I can kind of see where she is coming from. Like mum2caden said, she figures she might as well have something she's going to enjoy since she is sick now. It seems though that maybe with this prognosis her family would be a little more concerned with their own smoking habits and re-examine this a little. I'm sorry that your family is going through this, and I wish you all the best at this tough time.

And on another note, I work in a hospital and its just so hard to believe how many patients (and nurses!) stand outside hooked up to their IVs puffing those things all day long. It still amazes me everyday when I see this, especially with the nurses who should know how bad it is!
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Old 06-19-2007, 02:23 PM   #9
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your family is in my prayers! it is difficult with people's habits are s o detrimental to their well being..... you can't change that....
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Old 06-19-2007, 02:39 PM   #10
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