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Old 06-25-2007, 08:46 AM   #1
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dd's dad got her a dog
then asked me if i wanted him. huh? he sounds gorgeous and well-trained and perfect! except that i'm a nurse. i work 3 12-hour shifts a week.

the ex got him from his uncle, who works at a large prison in ohio. the prisoners take in these pups, train them, get them vetted to the max, then adopt them out for a fee.

he's a brittany spaniel, 6 months old and will need attention and exercise. my dd is bonding with him now and then will come home at the end of July. i'm so torn. i've wanted a dog for a long time, but i hesitate because i'm gone for work for hours at a time.

the other thing is, i'm in a rental. i have no idea if i can talk my landlord into letting me have this dog.
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Old 06-25-2007, 11:38 AM   #2
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IMHO, if her dad got the dog, he should keep it at his house. I would be pissssssed if someone gave DD a dog without asking me first.

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Old 06-25-2007, 12:26 PM   #3
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sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, boy does that bring back memories!!!! Many years ago my daughters other parental unit (I hesitate to give him the honor of calling him a Father) gave her a puppy but said it had to stay at HIS house, it was his way of trying to get her to want to be there more than with me.

Where does you daughter go when you are working? Can the pup go with her?
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Old 06-25-2007, 07:08 PM   #4
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Wow, it would have been nice if he had discussed that with you before getting the dog...huh. I say, if you want the dog talk with your landlord first. If the landlord is okay with it then look into doggy daycare and see how much that will cost.
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Old 06-25-2007, 09:42 PM   #5
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i was actually AT daycare, picking up my other daughter, when the call came through about the dog. i jokingly asked my sitter if she wanted me to pay her to watch the dog.

i've thought about approaching the landlord, but i already have 2 cats. i really think i would be pushing it if i asked to have a dog. when i buy a house, it will be lovely to make these decisions myself.
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Old 06-25-2007, 11:29 PM   #6
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That would really annoy me and I would consider it a tad manipulative (but I obviously don't know the person). Having a dog is expensive, time consuming and problematic if you rent and yet your daughter is falling in love. I also think dad should either keep the dog there OR have offered to pay for vets fees and food etc. He's essentially passing on an expense item and yet not offered to support it!

You sound sweet in the sense of being patient and hoping your landlord may accept it.

I know I can be tough on such things BUT to me the father should have broached with you or at least spoken to your landlord first rather than now setting you up with an upset child if the landlord says no etc.

As you suggest you work long shift hours and this would mean the dog would need to be walked otherwise you could come home and find many things ripped and eaten as the dog is bored (plus the potential mess).

Sounds to me like you have enough on your plate and that you need to be firm and wise and assertive and explain the practical issues to your daughter and tell her father he must keep the dog himself. In this way, if he refuses, HE is letting your daughter down and not you. He set this up so he must follow it through (I believe).
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Old 06-26-2007, 08:14 AM   #7
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Wow, he has a lot of nerve, not taking care of all the issues, before talking to your daughter about it! Even a healthy dog needs a yearly vet visit and needs to be fed and exercised. It is a commitment! Good grief. I agree with Susan, that he needs to work though some of the details so you don't have to be the bad guy, in the end, since it wasn't your idea.

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Old 06-26-2007, 08:44 AM   #8
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I heartily agree with the above statements. unbelievable B*lls of that guy.... but if you do wind up keeping it- look into dog walking services that come to the house once a day (or night) to walk/feed/play with the dog. Doggie daycare is also good, but can be more pricey. We used doggie daycare when we were selling our house and moving. They loved it! My friend who works long hours has a dogwalker to come exercise her 2 boxers. she says it is well worth the money. It is becoming a popular small time job- many teenagers do it in our area.

oh yeah, your landlord may ask for extra security deposit $$ to cover potential damages. That is fairly standard here. Maybe you should get the ex to pay it.....
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