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Old 07-25-2007, 05:32 AM   #21
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This post'sSwedish word/phrase: "Förmodligen ett missförstånd" = "Most probably a misudnerstanding"
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When I first saw this thread I decided I wouldn't post in it. I didn't want to stir things up...

I just want to say that I feel sad about cheley feeling humiliated. I'm sure that wasn't Sandy's intention. However, if I had gotten the same response as cheley got, I'd feel uneasy too... I thought it was strongly worded, and I have to agree with Sara and Jenn, suggesting that PMs might be used instead of open posts, when you want to hint someone in the right direction. Or at least switch when it's "obvious" that there's a misunderstanding going on (first hint can be helpful to other newcomers too).
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Old 07-25-2007, 05:57 AM   #22
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I'm feeling a little troubled that the emphasis here is on Sandy and how Sandy could have or should have reacted. And I say this KNOWING full well what it feels like to assume one is being rejected from a group - because I have felt that here on one occasion myself.

Cheley has posted over 180 times so cheley was not new to the group although she may have been new to that forum. I didn't find Sandy's first post harsh. If 'to-the-point' is considered brusque then it was brusque

cheley said she knew what the forum was and pursued with the request for the book. I believe sandy then felt taken aback and perhaps, from her ethical standpoint, offended.

I believe it was as much cheley's responsibility as sandy's to deal with the situation potentially differently. If cheley had been a very new person to the group perhaps that may be different.

Is cheley also knittychick as I am a little confused about knittychicks links being offered yesterday as cheley's work? From what I recall knittychick has been around for a while..??

I spoke a little toughly to someone last night, realised, apologised and made light of it and worked to help. They in their turn responded to the humour and just dealt with the knitting issue.

This is what I meant by two people needing to co-operate to resolve and move on. What has happened has happened and Sandy has now made an overture. I'm sure in the future Sandy will be mindful just like cheley should/could be also.

IF..let's say if..a circumstance was present where someone had items to donate but literally could not afford to send them, then this is a situation where saying the status openly may well feel humiliating. This is a situation where a PM - even to a mod - would be useful and appropriate. Or to the organiser of the activity.
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Old 07-25-2007, 08:28 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by zip View Post
each of her posts takes just a little bit more from her credibility. :yadda:
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Bless your heart. I'm not questioning your credibility.
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Old 07-25-2007, 10:56 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by zip View Post
I've refrained from saying something because KH peeps will possibly consider me biased, but...
each of her posts takes just a little bit more from her credibility. :yadda:

Call me biased but I think using that icon is pretty mean and I certainly would find the way that was said / put across with that icon upsetting if it were aimed at me.

Has anyone considered English may not be the other posters first language?

I do put all of this down to misunderstanding, and I certainly didn't think Cheley came across as being greedy, thought she just came across as not quite understanding the charity forum.

I, as an English first language user, also don't quite get the follow up in which Zip states she isn't questioning Cheleys credibility.

Maybe I'm way off in my understanding of the two posts by Zip but IMO posts like this don't actually add to the conversation, rather they pour oil on already troubled waters.

If one doesn't have something good to say or add to something one should not speak. Again that is my own personal opinion and since I'm speaking without adding much other than my shock at Zips post I should bow out and keep my mouth shut
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:12 AM   #25
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Discreet cough. Can I just remind what Shandeh posted a little ways back? Perhaps that is the starting point for the future. Constant recriminations are simply looking backwards:

"cheley, I hope that we can get to know each other better. Hopefully, our next conversation will be happier and more constructive. "
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:14 AM   #26
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I agree Susan, but please note that that post was editited by Sandy and that content is NOT what the orginal post said, which is why Hunterjenn posted. Sandy's editing of that post has made all other posts after it appear out of place.
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:24 AM   #27
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Sarah-Jane.. I admit I did not see that, nor did I see the original post, however, what is all this achieving at this point? I think the message is out there about being more caring and careful.

Constant recriminations seem to be helping nothing and simply furthering the issue.

Can we all simply agree that if someone appears to be confused that we 'nicely' explain or guide - perhaps additionally in PM - and that is all we can do. Perhaps if the situation were to happen again Sandy would simply say "Sorry, in the charity forum there are no arrangements for exchanges or trades but would you still be willing to give anyway". Perhaps cheley could agree that after having used the trade/swap forum for a while that posting what she did was a 'carry over and habit' or similar and that, admittedly, it didn't suit the charity forum.

Graciousness on both sides.
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:31 AM   #28
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THIS thread is one of the reasons why we have moderators.

If anyone feels badly about an exchange, they should take it to one of our most excellent moderators through a private message and ask for it to be resolved that way.

Let the moderators do their job instead of bringing everyone into the discussion.
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:38 AM   #29
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I just caught your post Sara. Perhaps so however I for one would hesitate about asking a mod to resolve an interpersonal issue. I guess I'm aware of the workload they have and would hesitate. That said, it's probably not a bad idea.

At this juncture I will buy out of this thread. I believe everyone in this community, no matter who they are and what they do, need to bring tolerance and patience when entering this space for the sake of community. That said, we are all human, we all have our off days. Forgiveness is important at times.

I think this has been a heads up and perhaps timely reminder of not assuming what we write is what is heard.

All I know is..there are a whole bunch..a whole flock...a whole skeinload..of good people at KH.
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:46 AM   #30
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