rant on: dating

dakatzmeow · 08-19-2007, 10:56 PM

when a guy decides to break it off/he�s not interested, why does he just leave a girl hanging? in my opinion, an ADULT would make a call/email/text message/whatever and just be honest. �this isn�t working for me. � �i want to see other people.� �i feel the need to pursue other relationships.�

am I wrong?

rant over.

Knitting_Guy · 08-20-2007, 04:04 AM

Depends on how long you were seeing each other and how serious it was. Steady dating for a while, yeah he should man up and break it off. Just a couple of dates? No big deal.

auburnchick · 08-20-2007, 04:06 AM

Mason, when I read the first sentence of your reply, I read "serious" as "sensuous."

Can you tell I've been working on this computer way too long today?

Knitting_Guy · 08-20-2007, 04:08 AM

Originally Posted by auburnchick

Mason, when I read the first sentence of your reply, I read "serious" as "sensuous."

Yeah that factors in too

jeanius80 · 08-20-2007, 05:07 AM

i agree dakatz. when i was 20 i very briefly dated a guy who was divorced with 2 kids. it freaked me out and i wasn't ready to be a mom to someone else kids (she was not around at all). i 'manned up' (

) and told him i just wasn't ready for that big of a commitment or relationship. i think being honest is always more mature and fair.

jjminarcik · 08-20-2007, 05:37 AM

I agree with jeanius, you should "man up" and be honest about it whether it's the guy or girl that wants to break it off. Most of my boyfriends were jerks and didn't have the you-know-what's to do that. DH is the one guy who is honest with me, I think he's the exception to the rule.

Except for you Mason, you usually tell it like it is!

Originally Posted by auburnchick

Mason, when I read the first sentence of your reply, I read "serious" as "sensuous."

Can you tell I've been working on this computer way too long today?

Whenever I hear the work sensuous it's usually DH saying "Sensuous up, grab me a beer".

orcoastknitter · 08-20-2007, 06:35 AM

Well about 10 years ago, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with over the phone. He called said "we need to talk." I said are you breaking up with me and there was no answer so I hung up. He never called back. The last boyfriend was hauled off in a cop car, need I say more?

Rorshach · 08-20-2007, 07:04 AM

Personally, regardless of how long you were going out, I think the Significant Other, or more likely in this case Insignificant Other, should at least give you the obvious truth. Leaving you hanging like that is a stupid and spineless thing to do.

mulene · 08-20-2007, 11:25 AM

I would much MUCH rather people say "I'm not interested" or "this isn't working for me" or whatever.

I dated a guy, who the day we 'broke up' if you can even call it that he was horrendously rude. He had been very unrude previously. I went to his house, picked him up paid for a cab to take us to the cinema, went paid for us to go in to see the movie (Jerry McGuire - his choice) paid for the cab back to his place and when we got there he just said "cya" and got out the cab ran indoors and that was that.

He didn't have the guts to tell me he was no longer interested and he didn't have the courtesy to even offer some money towards the last night out. He didn't once even put his hand in his pocket - its not that I was forceful its that he navigated it that way.

We arrived at the cinema, he got out of the cab and walked off so I had to pay. I followed into the cinema he was in the line I stood next to him then when we were about to reach the tills he said "have to pee brb" and disappeared off. I paid because I was at the front of the queue and he had chosen which movie queue to join so thats the one we went to see.

I always have to have a drink when I see a movie, I find the cinema too hot and end up being thirsty so I went to get a drink. He came along grabbed bags of sweets, popcorn and the biggest drink you've ever seen - put them in front of me and walked off leaving me to pay.

The guy had been nice before but he behaved in such a jerkish way and was a spineless loser in the end. I was glad in a way that I saw him for what he was, but I was also annoyed that he was so spineless and couldn't just say it outright.

At least if you're gonna break with someone don't be so rude to take them for a night out and make them pay for everything! Just call it.

blueeyes28 · 08-20-2007, 12:03 PM

I think some guys are afraid they are going to tell you they are not interested and you are going to fall apart or something and I think others figure if they don't come out and tell you then maybe if there is nothing better to do one weekend they can call you and say "oh I have just been busy I wasn't avoiding you." I hate to say this but it seems that there aren't a whole lot of stand up guys around anymore. But they are out there ladies, they are the guys that women usually say are too nice or just a friend when I first met my husband I said oh he is not my type but I was wrong! Give these guys a chance and you won't be dissappointed I went through a lot of frogs before I found my prince.