Rita, that is nothing
to worry about. before any of us started knitting, none of us knew how to hold the needles.
as for me, i've been looking online for patterns for 12x12 afghan squares. it seems that no one wants to make this easy because i can't find any. i've never taken a stitch pattern and used it to make something. i guess it might help if i actually had a stitchionary. looks like i'll just have to get up the guts to experiment.