I really wonder sometimes if this hobby is worth it. I find lately it frustrates more than satisfies me. I don't finish anything and the things I need to get done don't work because the least bit of a deadline, no matter how long out makes me hate what I'm doing and I make tons of mistakes.
This feeling I am sure is spawned by a very horrible beginning to my week that I shall just say I will not go into detail. However, I thought after work yesterday I would do some yarn shop therapy. I impulsively bought a 37.00 skein of Jade Sapphire Mongolian Cashmere to make a pair of wristlets. They had one knitted up and it felt divine as was just the right size project to whip up this weekend while I shut myself off from the world. Well, because it's in a hank, and I have successfully wound my own center-pull balls before, I was sure to do it again. OK, one other time it didn't work...but it was cheap yarn. I got it so knotted up that all I could do was ball it up in frustration and throw it accross the room. I dreamt about it all night along with my mounting frustration about my bad week and I think this stupid yarn was the vehicle to bring out all my wrath. I tried to untangle it again...and mind you I actually found two spots were the hank was tied by the company...so that sucks in itself! Well, I basically just flushed 37 bucks, I cut up the pile of wreckage and threw it in the garbage. And I am most likely going to go back to the shop and get another, but have it wound there. Why I didn't ask to have it done? I don't know...it was close to closing time, I was the one in a hurry to get home, and frankly I thought I could handle it.
Please tell me I'm not the only one that just tosses it, admits it's a hopeless battle, and starts over.
The last time I posted about being this upset at wasting money and yarn, I was advised I should be in anger management. I know I invite all types of opinions by posting this, but be kind. I don't expect hugs either. I basically feel if I write it out, it's not in my head. I've been told by my mom and others whenever I feel bad or guilty about something, whether I am to blame or not, that I have to "let it go" "get over it" "you can't allow others to make you feel bad." That pisses me off more and more every time I hear it because that tells me I am not allowed to feel the way I want. Then I feel guilty/mad for mentioning it even once because I think the other person will be upset. It's a vicious circle and my hobby suffers for it.