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Old 12-18-2007, 08:43 PM   #1
Lindsey H
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DH to be my step-brother
Now that I have your attention, has this happened to anyone else? It looks like my mom and my FIL are going to get married. Both are widowed. My mom for 5.5 yrs and FIL for 11yrs. It is just very weird and I am having problems with it. Most of my issues are typical because my mom will be married to someone who is not my dad. My other main problem is that they want to announce it at a family Christmas dinner on Saturday night. We are not sure that dh's brothers even know that they are serious much less that they are even dating. DH is going to talk to his dad tonight and try to get them to delay the big announcement until after the new year. I am an only child so I have plenty of issues on my own.
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Old 12-18-2007, 09:38 PM   #2
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My uncle was also my step-grandfather..... making my grandmother my step-aunt. I had problems with it in the beginning, but now that I look back on it, I'm glad they got together and had over 20 years of happiness together. I know it may be akward, but just because they are our parents doesn't mean they don't deserve some kind of life and companionship. This is just my opinion, which has gotten me into trouble before.
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Old 12-18-2007, 09:40 PM   #3
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Back when we lived in California, our pastor and his wife got married and then their parents, his father and her mother, got married to each other. It was kinda strange at first but they were wonderful people.
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Old 12-18-2007, 10:45 PM   #4
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At least there aren't any strangers coming into the mix.
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Old 12-19-2007, 12:20 AM   #5
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Yeah, nothing like keeping it all in the family....
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Old 12-19-2007, 01:30 AM   #6
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Although it will take some getting used to, try to focus on your mom's happiness. I'm sure, given the reverse, she would be thrilled for you.

BTW, my sister and I married brothers. We have very nice, cozy family get-togethers. Plus, I always get to see my sister at our in-law's.
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Old 12-19-2007, 08:51 AM   #7
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Dearheart, while it may seem odd at first, you have to ask yourself--is this a good thing for them or not? If you don't think they are compatible for one another for some reason, then there are grounds for concern. Otherwise, the problem is in your perspective of the relationship, not the relationship itself.

After all, if a relative had objected to you marrying your DH because THEY were uncomfortable with the match, wouldn't you have felt that it was YOUR relationship not theirs to worry about?

If the only reason to object to the announcement is the potential discomfort of the rest of the family, support your parents decision. Instead of telling them to wait til after the holidays, have DH call the brothers and let them know that Dad is really serious about someone and has an announcement to make at Christmas--and that y'all don't want them to be really thrown for a loop by who he's dating. Christmas is a time for family to gather and celebrate, and for your Mom and FIL to be told they shouldn't tell people how happy they are to have found one another will be unfair to them.



Another point of view: Told my DH that the subject of the post was someone uncomforable with being her husbands stepsister and he announced, "Tell her to move to Kentucky, we'll welcome them with open arms!"
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Old 12-19-2007, 09:01 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by CountryKitty View Post
Another point of view: Told my DH that the subject of the post was someone uncomforable with being her husbands stepsister and he announced, "Tell her to move to Kentucky, we'll welcome them with open arms!"
Are we talking about family trees with no branches???

If your mom is happy, then be happy for her. It's very hard living alone.
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Old 12-19-2007, 09:28 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by CountryKitty View Post
"Tell her to move to Kentucky, we'll welcome them with open arms!"


Or Alabama. I grew up in a very small town, and one of my classmates (one of the 18 in my graduating class) was related to everyone in about three or four counties. I mean, we would start talking about so-and-so, and she would say, "Oh, that's my grandfather's uncle's cousin's daughter..."



It's a wonder she found someone who she wasn't related to for a dh.



When people's jaws drop about my sister and me marrying brothers, I tell them we're from Alabama. Case closed.
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Old 12-19-2007, 09:48 AM   #10
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i think it's wonderful they found happiness. just ignore the whole step-sibling thing. if your parents are happy, that's a good thing.
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