Having the Winter Blues! (kinda long)

stacyk9 · 01-17-2008, 06:10 PM

I can't help but notice all the KH'ers who are blue right now! I can count myself in that group. I'm not surprised that I'm blue because I always get this way during the winter months (SAD), but it sure makes every little thing seem like a big deal! Please bear with me as I get this off my chest!

1) I found out yesterday that I more than likely have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I just have to get some bloodwork done to officially say that's what it is. I am glad that I've finally found out what is wrong with me. It's been 5 years of suffering through symptoms that nobody could figure out. On the down side, looking through some information on PCOS, it turns out it can be a quite serious ailment. Heart problems, diabetes, infertility. Actually, the infertility is a good thing for me. DH and I have been informed to NOT try for kids. Long story. Anyway, it seems I will need to go on a special or controlled diet and a lifetime of exercise and/or medication. I know that's not a big deal, but it just bums me out.

2) DH and I have been friends with this other couple for quite some time. I've known Dave since 6th grade, DH and Dave lived on the same floor in college, one floor below me, and Dave's wife, Sue, and I hit it off fabulously and became fast friends. We are even each other's children's Godparents (did that make sense?) Anyway, it seems that as of late, Dave and Sue are making time for other new friends and we have been placed on the backburner. This doesn't bother my DH as much as it does me as he has other friends he can hang out with. I don't. I don't make friends very easily and so Sue is it and now I feel lost. I really need someone to talk to about my diagnosis yesterday because even though my Mom went with me yesterday, I'm sure she doesn't want to hear me hash it over and over. And poor DH, he just doesn't understand the whole PCOS thing. He know it has something to do with hormones, but that's about it. I would love a friend to lean on, and I don't feel I have one. I thought about just flat out asking her if I have done something wrong, if she's outgrown me or what?

3) I have a 2 year old. That should say it all! (for all of you wondering how I have a child when I was advised not to, he is adopted.) Anyway, I love Alex with all my heart and would do anything for him, but he is all boy and all toddler! And, again, I have no one to talk about the trials and tribulations of motherhood with. Dave and Sue have a little boy who is 1 1/2 years old, but our parenting styles are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Dave and Sue are very controlling in what their son does and DH and I feel that Alex should explore his world, unless he's going to hurt himself or someone else.

Ugh! It all sounds so much worse when it's written down. I guess in a nutshell, I'm just feeling very alone, maybe a little like I've lost my identity, which I think alot of mothers go through and just plain ole' depressed (another symptom of PCOS).

Anyway, thank you all for listening to me. It was kind of nice getting that out in the open!

Hildegard_von_Knittin · 01-17-2008, 11:16 PM

losnana · 01-18-2008, 12:03 AM

We are all here whenever you need to talk, vent, whatever. Not exactly the same as an "in person" friend, but I'm sure we all would like to help however we can!

Jen17 · 01-18-2008, 02:42 AM

Hey, you know where you write "it's not a big deal"?....well, of course it IS a big deal! It's happening to you and that makes it a big deal!! I don't know much about it, and not having it, I can't offer you any advice in that department. Have you checked with the doctor's office to see if there is a support group in your area? Or maybe there is one online? I know it's not the same as have a friend sitting next to you and being able to give you a hug...but maybe it could help a little.
You say you and the friends have different parenting styles...could that be the issue? Maybe they think you are too lienent or something? You could ask her...are you close enough for an honest talk? Whatever it is...it will probably blow over. Maybe she has something going on in her life? If she is a true friend, I'm sure she would want to hear about your diagnosis...and be there for you.
In the mean time here is a

for you!

Jen

HollyP · 01-18-2008, 03:21 AM

saracidaltendencies · 01-18-2008, 03:32 AM

I hope you begin feeling better soon and we're all here for you!

Spikey · 01-18-2008, 03:34 AM

Hang in there! So many of us feel blue this time of year. Have you ever tried one of those lights for SAD?

They can be really helpful. In fact, I should dig mine out...

It is difficult when you drift away from old friends. It always seems to be harder on women than men.

mks22300 · 01-18-2008, 03:37 AM

yarnrainbow · 01-18-2008, 08:04 AM

I'm so sorry you're feeling blue right now.

I can understand what you're going through as I too have PCOS and was diagnosed after suffering the symptoms for a very long time without knowing what was going on...thought I was losing my mind! There are several support groups that are operated and staffed by women who also have PCOS. You may want to look at the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Association website. It has excellent information and very helpful members. Also, I don't know if you're on Ravelry yet, but there is a PCOS group on there as well and the women there are wonderful as well. And don't be too hard on yourself or your DH. You've just found out you have a chronic condition and that alone can be a big blow because you know it's going to affect your life; however, and trust me on this, it is definitely manageable. Get to a Endocrinologist who specializes in PCOS or at least has a lot of experience with it...that will make a world of difference in your life and your outlook...and join a support group so you can talk to others who have it. Others with the condition can truly understand the psychological side of having this condition...what the symptoms can do to your sense of self as a woman. Also, I'm sure your DH is trying like heck to understand but there's no way he can really "know" what you're going thru. Just think if he had ED...you could sympathize, but there's no way you could empathize with what he would be going through with a condition that strikes at the heart of his identity as a man.

If you'd like to talk, feel free to PM me...I'd like to have a new friend!

SusanAnn · 01-18-2008, 12:00 PM

I'm another knitter with PCOS, I think things are improving greatly in recent years with the treatment of this condition, twenty five years ago when I was diagnosed they just sent me home to get on with it.
Now there are so many more treatments available and it is largely manageable and there are lots of websites out there to glean information from, don't know if you have this http://www.soulcysters.net/ ....hope that's right not only to I have PCOS, but I'm a computer klutz as well

Having said all that I do totally sympathise, as I think PCOS is so difficult for other people to understand as it strikes at so many of the things that we think of as being fundamental to being a woman.

Have to go now as I have my youngest son off school poorly, but if you ever want to talk do feel able to pm me