Thanks everyone for your input.
Based on what I have read, and after talking with the Periodontist, I feel like I do need the procedure. Even though I have thought I was doing what needed to be done by flossing and brushing regularly, I do have a lot of bleeding. When I would see my former dentist, the hygenist would just talk down to me like I was a child and even told me there was no reason to be dishonest about my habits. They even made me watch a video on how to floss your teeth. That was humilating, I'm in my 40s! They never suggested any type of treatment to help with the situation, other than to take a mulit-vitamin (which I do) and not to brush too hard. They assumed I wasn't doing my part in my dental care. Then, when the Dentist would come in to see me (for about a minute), he would pat me on the shoulder and say "Everything looks fine, just keep up what you're doing".
I was beginning to think that bleeding gums were just something I had to deal with. Then, when a new practice opened up, that was really more convenient, I took the opportunity to change dentists (I don't know why it took so long)!
I have much better dental habits than DH and he always got excellent check ups and even complimented on what good care he takes!
(But, he has a cracked tooth that the former dentist never diagnosed!)
After talking to the Periodontist I was referred to for the Deep Cleaning, I understand a little better how this could have happened. He explained how the bacteria is different from person to person and how it affects people differently. Also, the anatomy of my mouth is such that I am unable to adequately clean at home. Also, I have extensive dental work (most of it old), including 6 root canals, and he explained how that can affect and exacerbate the situation. And, of course, genetics plays a role, too.
So, my hope is that I can get my gums healthy and keep the teeth I have. I do plan eventually to have some crowns and other improvements done. But, I know I have to have a healthy foundation before I have any of that.
Ginny - thanks so much for sharing about your experience. It's really hard when you think you are doing what you need to do, and the situation isn't getting better. I've never been a smoker, either, so that was never a factor. I didn't know the bacteria could spread through kissing. Wow, I would feel awful if dh got it. Thanks for saying that periodontal disease doesn't only happen to people who don't take care. I think there's definitely a stigma there.
Stitchwitch - thanks for your iput as well. You offer a different perspective! I actually do feel confident about the new dentist (more so than the old one), and they did do the measurments and I had several areas that were 6mm, this coupled with the swelling and bleeding (yes, I'm terribly attactive!) leads me to believe in my case it is warranted.
Gingerbread - I'm sorry you have had such a bad experience. I know it is disheartening. I have recently spoken with someone who said she went through this years ago. She had the deep cleaning a few times, but eventually had to have her teeth pulled and has dentures. She said it was the best thing she ever did. Don't worry, you didn't scare me
I'm glad you shared, and I hope you get some resolution, soon.