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Old 02-05-2008, 04:34 PM   #11
Sunshine's Mom
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[quote=bip;1055155]

Now they are turning it into a reading group. I am totally completely not interested. My other responsibility is that I have a horse, and I can't ride on days that I have knitting group. Because of my career, I can only ride 4x a week anyway and skipping that one day is a sacrifice for me.

QUOTE]

If you want to ride - go ride. No excuses are needed.

You know, I think I might stay in the group. Get the book on tape that their all reading so you can be up on the latest chapter and bring my knitting to the get togethers. I can talk and knit at the same time. It still gets you out with your friends.

I think the biggest thing is that all the talk about kids is getting to you, right? Well, maybe if the point of the get-togethers is discussing a book they won't have time for the "kid talk" and you can enjoy yourself again.

Sometimes our friends get so wrapped up in what their doing that they don't stop and think about a friend who is hurting. And they are all in a place that you are not - yet! I know you would never want to ask them to cool it for fear that you would hurt their feelings and they would think you bitter and, perhaps, alienate you. They don't mean to be hurting you. They are sharing with you just as much as with each other. It bothers you that you can't contribute to the conversation - yet. If they're your good and true friends I'm sure you could probably share your feelings with them in a manner that would be constructive for all of you.

Stick with it a little longer. We never know what the future brings. And, so I've heard, there's never a PERFECT time to have a baby. You'll never have ENOUGH money or time. You work around that. It'll happen for you and when it does it will be YOUR perfect time.

I know I don't know you, but I feel for you and wish you the best.
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Old 02-05-2008, 06:05 PM   #12
bip
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Originally Posted by Sunshine's Mom View Post

Stick with it a little longer. We never know what the future brings. And, so I've heard, there's never a PERFECT time to have a baby. You'll never have ENOUGH money or time. You work around that. It'll happen for you and when it does it will be YOUR perfect time.
Oh, gosh, I'm not hoping for a perfect time! I was just trying not to get knocked up while DH was having a kidney transplant + complications. And now I'm the only income (plus health insurance), so if anything happened with the pregnancy that kept me from working, we would be you-know-where without a you-know-what (answers: creek, paddle).

I'm still going to spend time with my friends! Some of us went to Webs last Saturday, which is a 2 hr drive each way. We had lunch in Northampton then spent hours in the store. I'm just not naturally a big group person, and it seems silly to purposely spend time with people you like under circumstances that are excruciating.

I might look for a real knitting group, but I just realized that my evenings and weekends are pretty tight for a while. I might hoard my knitting time to myself

Thanks for all your advice, understanding and commiseration
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Old 02-06-2008, 01:30 PM   #13
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Hi bip:
I, too, belonged to a Tuesday night knitting group and one of the first members! We were fine until a woman was brought in by another member. This woman was a knitting WHIZ. She could knit anything. Had a knitting store in New York. Her personality was that of a viper! She was my age (63) but had her own life with no need for the husband of umpeenth years. He sat home and watched TV. Fine, if that's your choice. I am married and very happily for the last 14 yrs. My husband and I are raising my grandson, since his birth and who is 12 yrs old now. So I was a "wierd o" in her opinion. My knitting skills are good and I love to crochet. This woman, "viper" changed the whole group atmosphere. We used to meet once a week in each others' homes and had coffee, and some snacks. Talk was knitting and helping each other. That changed. She organized bus tours and spending big bucks on knitting in over night trips. No more food in homes and etc. I asked her for help on my project and she ripped it out of my hands and said,"do it your own way". Hence, you got it I don't go anymore. Some of the women still put up with her nasty know it all manner, but not me. So, find another group. The advice given in the posts was very good. I am home during the day with my husband as we are both retired. Some days he goes with me to the LYS and some not. This viper had no children and let you know that she did not want any conversation about children. Children are God's gift to us. In His time, you shall receive a gift or many gifts. My husband has kidney failure also. He is pretty stable but gets tired as he is 70 yrs. old and having a 12 yr old in middle school is challenging. I am ranting on and on. And, I apologize. but sometimes it helps. I am going to teach knitting to some middle schoolers as a volunteeer to keep the craft going and to share my love of knitting and the children. Keep the faith and keep riding. I only rode a horse once in Central Park when I was a young girl. God loves us all.
Warm wishes, Grandmaknit
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Old 02-11-2008, 12:47 PM   #14
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Grandma... wow what a story. What a drag. Some women just don't get it, they have to be bossy and shrill I guess to keep control of their own insecure feelings or something. (perhaps she is very sad because she could not have children and that's why she can't stand hearing about them) Too bad the whole group changed because of her. I'm in New York, sadly, this sounds like one of the caricatures of bossy New Yorkers. Most of the yarn store owners I know are really really nice though. That's wonderful you are going to teach knitting to kids, I'd love to do that and hopefully I will someday. hugs to you and your husband...
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:36 PM   #15
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I would just like to say that thanks to this thread I have checked out meetup.com. I have found 1 group in my area and joined about 5 minutes ago. I am excited to find out when their next meeting is.
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:51 PM   #16
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I wish I lived near some of you. There are no knitting groups in my area, and I have yet to find anyone one else who knits or is interested in knitting. It would be wonderful to have other people to share with and learn new techniques as well. I'm glad that I have KH here or I probably would've given up knitting by now.
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