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Old 05-08-2008, 12:37 PM   #41
Wanda Witch
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I extend my very best to your family and especially your mother on the upcoming move. I originally wrote as so many tend to write us 'golden oldies' off because we might not be quite as sharp as in years past. I have been blessed, I realize, with reasonably good health and an active mind, so far. I also realize we all age differently and who knows what the future might hold.

It sounds as though your plan to have your mom near is a great one. She will feel secure, which is important at any age, and you will be near to see she is doing just fine. It is always difficult to put yourself into someone else's shoes and I know I might have been faced with this dilemma with my mother; however, I lost her at 77 and at that point in time she was fine.

My very best wishes go out to you, your family and especially your mother. She is fortunate indeed to have a caring family.
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Old 06-20-2008, 10:57 PM   #42
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Update
We've not been able to locate a reasonably priced mobile home yet and with the economy like it is, our funds will not allow us. My sister was able to get an application for a small apartment that is rent controlled and based on income. Mom has refused to move for at least 2-3 months because she says she needs time to go through all her things. She still will not allow us to help her clean and refuses to accept that she needs help.

My mom's dog, Prissy died last week. My younger sister was out of town so Mom called me. I made arrangement with a nearby Vet to have Prissy cremated for Mom and she was very upset. This past week, Mom's lights got cut off from nonpayment and Sis went and had them turned back on. After pretending to be Mom, Sis found out that she hadn't paid on the light bill in over 3 months and they were just being kind hoping she'd make payments from arrangements she'd made. Since Mom got paid for a sitting job the day after the lights were cut, Sis was able to get the money from Mom and have them cut back on. In the meantime, while Mom was on her job, my sister went over, found Mom's key and went into the house. She says it was appalling.

Seeing how thin and frail her cat was, took her to a groomer, had her fleas removed, hair cut and washed. She called me about 6pm yesterday and told me she'd stolen Mom's cat. I almost fell off the chair laughing at her story. It is a pitiful thing, the problems our mother is having but DS was too funny with her "rescue" story so now I have "Sophie". I fear my sister was at her wits end and couldn't stand it any longer. I'm proud of her for standing up and being able to speak her mind, with all the love she has for Mom.

Sis has given Mom an ultimatum... "Clean the house, let us help her and complete the application with all its income proof and requirements or we will have the Dept. of Social Services investigate." I will support her and if I can muster up the "Balls" that it took Sis to stand up and tell Mom she took the cat. Until then, I'm feeding her(the cat), will be taking her to a vet and hope she'll make it. She's awfully thin and weak. Once they got all the fleas and matted hair off her, she felt better. I really suspect that her little dog died from the neglect and I am so very ashamed that I didn't do anything about that.

So if the authorities come after my sister for stealing the cat, guess I'll have to go down with her for aiding and abetting. Please continue praying for all of us. And thanks for being here for me to vent.
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Last edited by mwhite : 06-21-2008 at 07:01 AM.
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Old 06-20-2008, 11:48 PM   #43
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I'm so sorry to hear, I can't even imagine how difficult your situation is. I hope it all works out for the best, for everyone.
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Old 06-21-2008, 08:43 AM   #44
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Old 06-21-2008, 10:10 AM   #45
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Good for your sister!


(And no jury is going to convict you of stealing given the condition of the cat and the fact thatit was taken straight to a vet for care.)


Good luck with your Mom, and try not to feel guilty if you need to call social services...with age your mother's immune system will be getting weaker and she will be likely to get dangerously illl living in such conditions.
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:36 PM   #46
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I am so very sorry to read how bad things really are. Initially, I had no idea the extent of the problem. Forgive me. Positive thoughts and prayers are coming your way for you and your sister to prevail. Thankfully, the cat was rescued and hopefully will become stronger with proper care. It is obvious your mother really does need intervention. Best wishes for a successful outcome.
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:42 PM   #47
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Oh Wanda, I knew you didn't know, how could anyone know unless they've dealt with this kind of thing? And there's no need to apologize, your reply gave me more prospective coming from someone closer to Mom's age and I'm thankful for that.
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:45 PM   #48
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Mary, it is so hard when the child becomes the parent. My prayers are with you and your family.
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Old 06-21-2008, 05:12 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by mwhite View Post
Oh Wanda, I knew you didn't know, how could anyone know unless they've dealt with this kind of thing? And there's no need to apologize, your reply gave me more prospective coming from someone closer to Mom's age and I'm thankful for that.
Thank you for understanding. Sometimes we forget, no matter what age, how fortunate we are to be well and of sound mind, well sometimes forgetful, but I do hope things will work out soon for your mother. It is obvious just how much you and your sister care for her. In spite of everything, she is one lucky woman to have such great girls.
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Old 06-21-2008, 05:42 PM   #50
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when's the last time your mom had a full checkup at HER doctor? If she's having issues keeping the place up and taking care of her animals (possibly herself as well) depending upon her insurance she may be able to get a home health aid.

Dh's grandmother lived on her own until she was 92, from the time she was in her late 80's she had a girl come (home health aide) that would do the general pickup, help out with errands, etc. Dh's Grandma didn't trust them to do her pills or her banking so dh's aunt (a retired nurse) took care of the pills and delivered dinners, dh's mother would go over and do the intense cleaning, make sure grandma's life alert system worked properly, etc. my second oldest stepson used to go over after school (she enjoyed it, he'd go over, she'd have a snack ready for him, he'd run some light errands for her and do his homework there before going home).

See if you can get her to get a checkup for HER health. I'm not going to go with the pop-psych mumbo jumbo and claim dementia is setting in because I don't know your mom and i'm not a psychologist. But if her animals weren't doing too well, it makes me worried about your mom (esp with the mess she's living in) and it doesn't hurt anyone (may even help when it comes to getting her a home health aide). I can see your mom's side too... she's worried they'll take away her indepenedence... when they did that to grandma and the doctor said she could no longer live on her own, she gave up.

Good luck!
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