Stubborn Aging Parent *Current Update* - Page 6

mwhite · 06-21-2008, 06:00 PM

I'm afraid that IS the problem, her health and it IS mental but is becoming physical. We may have to "HOG TIE" her and do this. I do believe that with her little dog dying and us taking the cat, two things she claims to love, might make a difference but we shall see. Mom still works and drives....can't handle her life but seems to do okay socially and at work. When we all get together to talk, my sisters and I do know that this is NOT just age, it is Mom and we all now know what our father had to deal with for so many years. He died in 2003 so it appears that we will be taking his place. Her situation is mental because she's been like this for a very long time.

LilHuskiesFootBallMom · 06-21-2008, 11:49 PM

Is she overwhelmed by the mess? try surfing www.flylady.net and using some of her ways (i did, made a HUGE difference!) and it may help keep your mom organized to some degree when it comes to house work.

But please get her to the doctor, if it is mental, she may need the help of a psychiatrist...

mwhite · 06-22-2008, 12:25 AM

Really cool site and it makes sense to do it a little bit at the time since that's how it got that way in the first place! I will pass the link and its contents onto her.

callmesusan · 06-22-2008, 07:08 AM

Oh Mwhite, be very careful.

I know how concerned you must be and how difficult it is to wrap your mind around the hoarder's lifestyle. My friend was looking after her mother, a hoarder, who was about your mum's age. My friend bought a house nearby for the mom to live in. Twice my friend called in workers and a HUGE dumpster to clean the place up. Fears of fire and vermin.

Long story, but my friend's mommy ended up filing a law suit against my friend--out of hurt and anger I suppose. It cost my friend about 40 grand in legal fees, three years of worry, and the relationship with her mother.

Get some professional counsel by someone who is experienced with treatment for hoarding. This is most probably beyond you and your siblings. So sorry to hear your story.

Debkcs · 06-22-2008, 09:47 AM

My best friend is a hoarder. She's unmarried, lives alone, and you can hardly make a path through her house to go anywhere. She won't toss a thing, unless it's likely to smell.

Your mom needs professional help, as does my friend, but no one is willing to upset my friend, and I feel that some day we will be very sorry we didn't do an intervention.