what would you do?

[susi]

hi

i descovered today that my brother (who is neraly 30) has stolen money from me.

i have no doubt that hes done it as i had €95 in cash in my jewellery box, this is the money i have each month to buy toys clothes yarn etc, so not a lot really. he has taken the lot!! i know its not missing as i put it in the same place everytime (ive never told anyone where) and the change is still there notes gone!!
he's the only person that has used my bathroom (where i keep it) other than myself and my 5year old ds who has no idfea what im talking about when i asked him if he'd seen anymoney (he never lies).

i told my mum who believes he would do that (he has a history of taking money and lies etc within the family).

she is adiment that i dont confront him, im in 2 minds.

what would you do?

susi

[Sunshine's Mom]

Why doesn't your mom want you to confront him? What's the harm in asking if he "borrowed" it and when he plans on returning it? And -find a new hiding place.

[auburnchick]

I would confront him. You probably won't get the money back, but at least put him on notice that you know.

Then, find another place to hide your money...maybe lock it up.

So sorry for the violation of trust.

[Jan in CA]

I think he's going to continue doing it if he thinks he's not being caught. Since you don't have absolute proof that he took it I'd personally want to confront him and let him know you have money missing and hope he's not the one that took it..and then find a better place to keep your extra cash like a locked safe or a bank. Maybe a less accusatory tone will appease your mom? If you're living with her and she will be a problem at least find the better place for the money.

[Arielluria]

I would confront him. You probably won't get the money back, but at least put him on notice that you know.

Then, find another place to hide your money...maybe lock it up.

So sorry for the violation of trust.

I agree. If not "confront", let him know you think he did and how very hurt you are over it! Then lock it up!

[Nobones]

I think something needs to be said, it's your home and your money. He can't be allowed to get away with it or where would end up? I can understand your Mum feels awkward but this really isn't on.

to you and I hope you get things sorted.

[kellee0302]

I would definately say something. Maybe just say something about the money missing and see if he admits it. And move that stash somewhere else. I've never had this happen but if it did I would be very upset.

[figaro]

I would let him know that the money is missing and he is the only one who could have taken it. I would also let him know that until you are able to trust him again, that he would have limited or supervised access to your home. If he needs to go to the bathroom again, walk him back there and wait until he is done then walk him out, it will be a pain but it might let him know that trust to you is important and he broke that trust.

[susi]

i think i will say something about the missing money and see if he owns up. i seriously doubt he will as he's not that honest.

i cant do the limited acess as this sint my house, its my parents. he's only here at weekends as dad and him work away.

im not living at home for that much longer so the p^roblem will go away as i wont be living in the same country as him.
its not a huge sum of money. i had it planned for my son mostly to take to england with him to buy himself some new toys etc. i rarley have money to buy him toys so this was going to be a huge treat for him. i'd been saving the money for months. typical hey. mums offered to replace it, but i just dont think thats right.

he has a record of doing this, he buys soo much stuff like dvds on play.com using my dads business card. my dad actually just found out so this is all up in the air as it happened last weekend. so this money is bad timing.

dont you just love families lol

susi

[GinnyG]

I would absolutely talk to him about it. People do things like that becuase they DON'T get confronted. Your Mother is so wrong, but then maybe that is why he is the way he is.