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Old 06-21-2008, 07:53 AM   #1
mwhite
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Mates and Knitting Time
I was on Ravelry and KH last night, reading, scrolling around and DH asked me what I was doing. So, I explained how both sites helped me find patterns, had info, how Ravelry had different groups for everyone's interest and etc.... So, he says, " I'm gonna start a group called, Neglected Husbands Who's Wives Knit All The Time" and it was just hilarious. We got into a conversation about how much time we both spend doing different things that don't include each other. I know he doesn't mind me knitting alot but there are times, I'm sure, that he'd like for me to put it down and talk to him. So, I'm wondering if anyone else's mate has these issues.
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Old 06-21-2008, 09:01 AM   #2
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Oh yeah! The DBF is a huge baseball fan. He plays baseball with a team about twice a week, plus weekend tournaments, plus practice a couple nights a week too (plus watching it on tv). Despite my feeling neglected, I am okay with it. BUT when he is at home with me and we are watching tv together (real quality time! HA!) and I am knitting, he tells me to stop knitting so we can spend time together....Aren't we spending time together while I knit? Apparently not.

Hey, maybe your DH and my DBF can hang out together while we knit???
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Old 06-21-2008, 09:38 AM   #3
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I think it is vital for each mate to have activities that the other one doesn't share.

And I think it's vital for each mate to spend time together, making each other feel loved and happy, too.

When you have your own space, you can bring much more to the table when you are together than if you do everything the other one does. Not many relationships can survive working together all day long, then spending the home-time together, too.

And knitting something for your Significant Other is a deep expression of love, isn't it? For me it is.

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Old 06-21-2008, 09:54 AM   #4
Lisa R.
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My dh is okay with it. We have a frequent, but not regular, date night, doing something like going for wings late at night. I started taking my knitting, because you just sit there doing nothing whie you wait, you know. I did ask him if it bugged him or if he'd rather have my full attention. He said as long as I'm speaking coherently he's fine with it.
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Old 06-21-2008, 11:28 AM   #5
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My husband got really upset with my spending more time on my crafts instead of with him. We compromised because in the past I neglected my crafts to spend time with him. I would have me alone time and when I could I would work on my knitting, crochet or embroidery with him while he watched sports. Before he passed away this past October, I got him interested in my crafts and we were going to make quilts for our sons together. Try and get them involved however small it might be!!!
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:38 PM   #6
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I suppose it also depends on how much you have in common anyway. My husband and I enjoy different activities so we don't do much together. After 37 years of marriage we have found that it does give us more to talk about at dinner and when we do spend time together. I have friends that love outdoor activities as do I and I love to garden, knit, read etc when around the house. I can carry on a coherent conversation while knitting and if I get to a tricky spot I can put it down and concentrate on what he's saying.
We just built him a new shop so his spare time has been getting the interior set up for all his stuff and when he's not at work or in his office working, he's out in his shop and if I want to talk to him he's got a chair out there for me to sit in while he works.
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:39 PM   #7
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We do work together all day and I have about 4 hours after work when I can knit by myself. So, I've taken to putting it down when he comes home so he won't feel left out... I don't think he'll ever get involved...thinks it's a "woman thing" but does ooo and ahhh about the pretty doilies and thought it was way cool that I learned to knit socks. I might try knitting something for him but I don't think he'll wear it. I agree that couples should have separate interests.
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Old 06-21-2008, 03:59 PM   #8
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I just posted something related to this on a Ravelry thread!

My DHs hobby has made him extraordinarily understanding of my knitting obsession. Hes a bass fisherman; has been for literally his whole life, and he collects fishing rods and lures like crazy including some swim baits that cost $100 apiece. Ive never complained about his spending, and he returns the favor for me. We often discuss various colors as well as storage systems (our house is pretty small).

I definitely agree that it's good for each of us to have our separate interests and to allow each other time to indulge those interests -- without feeling guilty. It makes the time you do spend doing things together that much better. I actively listen when he talks about fishing, and he tries to do the same for me (as long as I don't ramble on too much ).

My DH really doesn't mind me knitting while we're together; he knows I can still pay attention to him, and he frequently ask me questions about my project or my yarn.

He also likes to paint or otherwise modify some of his lures to make them look more realistic (hes even borrowed my nail polish a few times to use as paint). So theres plenty of times when well be watching TV together and Im knitting on the sofa while hes hunched over his little table, hard at work. Its kinda nice!
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Old 06-21-2008, 04:41 PM   #9
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Mine fishes, too! Has tons of rods, lures, tackle thingys, reels that he'll never be able to use at one time so I don't have to answer any questions about my stash! I do love that! He also takes off in January for about 2-3 weeks to Costa Rica where he works on boats/motors and gets to deep sea fish to his heart's desire. I am like knitting my fanny off the whole time!
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Old 06-24-2008, 01:06 AM   #10
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YES!
I have this problem, too. DBF likes to complain that I don't pay any attention to him when I'm knitting, but thinks that if I'm watching tv without knitting, I'm suddenly paying attention to him.

I feel so much more productive if I knit and watch tv simultaneously. He likes to watch stock market shows :yadda: which I tolerate remarkably well.

It's definitely important to have separate interests... It would be so boring to do EVERYTHING together.
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