Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-14-2008, 01:07 PM   #1
Simply_Renee
Turning the Heel
 
Simply_Renee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NE Tennessee
Posts: 625
Thanks: 409
Thanked 195 Times in 183 Posts
Emotionally invested knitting
The sweater I have been knitting on was/is to be for my new grand-nephew. (Hmm, don't I sound old?)

My niece just told me she is giving him up for adoption. (He is her 3rd, and she is keeping her 2 oldest children.) She is pregnant with him now but not due for a couple months. She did not want to have a family member have him (I will! I will! Or my sister) because she said it would be too hard for her.

Needless to say I am devastated, but have a knitting related question naturally or I wouldn't be posting here.

Do I:
a) finish the thing and keep it (there are always babies, and I am probably not finished having them either anyway)
b) finish the thing and send it to my niece- maybe she she will change her mind or send it with him (because it is for him, whether he stays in the family or not)
c) finish the thing and donate it
d) frog the thing and burn the yarn
e) keep it unfinished in my knitting basket some more

I have also started a baby blanket for him but have just done a couple of rows and would feel fine not finishing that one as it isn't going well.

If I do finish it, it will be wet because I am just crying all the time! This could be part of working through healing to work on it. I'm not sure.

What would you do?
__________________
OTN: - Tree of Life afghan, socks, afghan for Dad, Tura Maeve baby dress, alpaca Winter Mountains scarf, Frida poncho

Recently FO- Quinn cabled bag, Evangeline fingerless gloves (2 pairs), Topknot baby hats, pompom & earflap hats, 8 pairs of socks, Baby Folkwear Caftan, Debbie Bliss Baby Shawl (blanket)

I'm SimplyRenee on Ravelry- feel free to add me as a friend & I will do the same!
Simply_Renee is offline   Reply With Quote

 

This advertising will not be shown to registered members. Join our free online community today!

Old 07-14-2008, 01:23 PM   #2
Cynamar
Working the Gusset
 
Cynamar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: St. Louis, MO, USA
Posts: 1,590
Thanks: 254
Thanked 393 Times in 371 Posts
Send a message via AIM to Cynamar Send a message via Yahoo to Cynamar
I wonder if you can finish it and somehow send it with him to his new family. I'm sure that they would love it. I would. I hate that you don't get to meet him. He's still yours somehow and you can still love him.
__________________
Cyndi

While there's tea there's hope. - Sir Arthur Pinero


My KH Blog Thread

My Blog
Cynamar is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Cynamar For This Useful Post:
Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Old 07-14-2008, 01:29 PM   #3
MAmaDawn
Working the Gusset
 
MAmaDawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: WV
Posts: 1,366
Thanks: 965
Thanked 529 Times in 451 Posts
Honestly I would make it for him and ask her to send it with him. Maybe you could include a little note to the adopting parents that you made it for him and whatever else you want. I wouldn't include any contact info unless your niece says that it's ok to. It would be more likely to get to the parents that way.

I am sorry. I know that it's hard...
__________________
"A person is a person no matter how small" Horton Hears a Who by Dr Seuss

Wife to GooB; Mom to Tori (7) and Belle (4) Jeremiah (2)

MamaDawn there too
My Little Shop
MAmaDawn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MAmaDawn For This Useful Post:
Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Old 07-14-2008, 02:12 PM   #4
rachael72knitter
Knitting the Flap
 
rachael72knitter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 285
Thanks: 29
Thanked 95 Times in 64 Posts
Well, some adoptions are closed, and some adoptive parents either don't tell their children, are don't until they think they are of an age where they are ready for it. I don't know the circumstances of this adoption, be it closed/or open, but if it is closed- the new parents might not want the things that came from the original birth mother, maybe for different reasons.

My suggestion would be to knit it and donate it along with some other things to a foster home somewhere, and in your heart, remember for yourself you did it in your grand-neice/nephew's honor.
rachael72knitter is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to rachael72knitter For This Useful Post:
MoniDew (09-22-2008), Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Old 07-14-2008, 03:15 PM   #5
vaknitter
Working the Gusset
 
vaknitter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: virginia
Posts: 1,631
Thanks: 420
Thanked 426 Times in 390 Posts
I'm sorry you won't get to meet your grand-nephew. IMHO I would finish the sweater. You can give it to your niece and she can either keep it or send it with the baby. I might even finish the blanket. Two months is a long time and your niece may change her mind or this may be a first child for the adoptive parents and they would most likely appreciate that his first blanket comes with him. My friends just adopted a baby and they met the parents, grandparents etc all at the hosp. The family provided a "going home" outfit and off they went.
vaknitter is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to vaknitter For This Useful Post:
Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Old 07-14-2008, 03:22 PM   #6
The.Knitter
Instepping Out
 
The.Knitter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada.
Posts: 3,297
Thanks: 2,831
Thanked 1,611 Times in 1,187 Posts
I too would finish the blanket. Love is love, no matter what form it comes in. If showing your love means making and sending the sweater, then do so. Don't cry too much though. If your niece has decided she can't afford this child, at least she is giving it a chance at a good life instead of having had an abortion. It will be a hard decision for her. Perhaps when she sees the child she will want to keep it. If not, she can send the baby on with the sweater and love from you!
__________________
I love to give homemade gifts... which one of my kids do you want?
Christine


Find our "Canadian Oddball Blanket KAL" on Ravelry as: OddballBlankets

The.Knitter is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to The.Knitter For This Useful Post:
Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Old 07-14-2008, 06:07 PM   #7
twoxover
1st Leg of the Journey
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 203
Thanks: 63
Thanked 74 Times in 74 Posts
what a hard thing for your family! I think if i could, i would knit it, and give it to your neice, requesting that it go with the new little one. as other's have said...there is nothing wrong with love...and if i were the adoptive parents, i would cherish that sweater and blanket to no end...
twoxover is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to twoxover For This Useful Post:
Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Old 07-14-2008, 06:22 PM   #8
kellybigeyes
Knitting the Flap
 
kellybigeyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 428
Thanks: 466
Thanked 247 Times in 192 Posts
I just wanted to share this...
My name is Kelly. I only have one daughter and she is 14 months old. I have never had to deal with adoption in my life or in the lives of anyone really close to me. Therefore... I cannot imagine what it must feel like. But I do have something to share with you and I hope and pray that it will comfort you in some way. As far as whether to finish the item or not... I just don't know.

I found two videos by Mark Schultz. He is a Contemporary Christian Singer. I posted the videos on my blog a few weeks ago. Here is the link to it. The videos are from youtube. Sometimes it will say that the video is unavailable. Just refresh the page and keep trying. You will be able to view them. Please watch the top one first and the bottom one after.

No matter what happens... it will be God's will. And just remember, that everything happens for a reason. I pray that God will bless you and your family.
__________________
Kelly


I am also kellybigeyes at http://www.ravelry.com/
kellybigeyes is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to kellybigeyes For This Useful Post:
Indygirl (08-07-2008), kellyh57 (07-15-2008), Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Old 07-14-2008, 07:37 PM   #9
Mulderknitter
Working the Gusset
 
Mulderknitter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Minneapolis, brr hot brr hot
Posts: 1,994
Thanks: 1,082
Thanked 526 Times in 446 Posts
I say finish the sweater and donate. You may not be giving it to the intended, but you will be giving it to a needy baby that will appreciate it too. Maybe in the way things go, you can find an adoption agency that needs little baby clothes and donate to them?
I know it's hard, but she's doing what she feels is right for her.
__________________
I knit because the voices tell me to
My Groups:
Midwest preemies & babies
Oddball Pet Snuggles
I am Mulderknitter on Ravelry, add me to your friends!

My Blog
http://susanknitsandwrites.blogspot.com/
Add me to your faves and leave a comment, I love comments!
Mulderknitter is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mulderknitter For This Useful Post:
Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Old 07-14-2008, 07:51 PM   #10
lynn893
1st Leg of the Journey
 
lynn893's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Toronto, ON, Canada
Posts: 208
Thanks: 29
Thanked 45 Times in 43 Posts
I would tell my niece that I was working on a sweater/blanket set for the baby. Ask her if she would be willing to ask the adoptive parents if they will accept this gift from you on behalf of your grand nephew.

If your niece is against it, then donate it to a local hospital neo-natal wing. If she's ok with it, your grand nephew will have it when he goes to his new family.

My prayers are with you and your family.
__________________
lynn893 @ Ravelry

WIPs: these change so quickly, if your really interested, check out my project page on Rav.

FO: Finished 14 shawls in 2010, as well as some socks and other stuff.
lynn893 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to lynn893 For This Useful Post:
Simply_Renee (08-07-2008)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
In 2 minds would love some opinions that arent emotionally envolved susi The Lounge 13 10-09-2008 10:28 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:51 PM.