No offense to any lawyers.
There was this lawyer who drove his shiny new Lexus to work one day. He parked it right down in front of the firm where he worked to show it off to all his lawyer buddies. As he got out, this truck side-swiped the door and ripped it right off.
The driver stopped and ran to the lawyer saying "Are you alright, are you alright?"
The lawyer, now furious, started to scream and berate the driver. "What the hell do you think you are doing? This is my brand new Lexus...Ya know I am a lawyer and I am going to sue you for all you are worth!"
Then a policeman ran up to the scene and said to the lawyer, "Calm down! You lawyers are so materialistic it's disgusting! Don't you know, when that truck ripped your door off, it took your arm with it?"
The lawyer looked down and saw his left arm missing and said "Oh, God, . . . my ROLEX!"